


Something You Keep

by Amanita_Fierce, DoubleL27, eafay70, Elswherefumbling, GoLBPodfics (GodOfLaundryBaskets), mahons_ondine, olive2pod (olive2read), RhetoricalQuestions, ships_to_sail, sophinisba, sunlightsymphony



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Cover Art, Digital Art, Digital Painting, Documentaries, F/M, Fanart, Future Fic, Manip, Movie Poster, Original Artwork, Original Character(s), Podfic, Podfic Length: 2.5-3 Hours, Second Chances, Social Media, The Galapagos, alexis is galapagoing now, alexis rose girl boss, all puns fully vetted, strongly smells of pining, ted misses the shell out of alexis, turtlely awesome puns, we should call it fourth chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25593181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanita_Fierce/pseuds/Amanita_Fierce, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleL27/pseuds/DoubleL27, https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elswherefumbling/pseuds/Elswherefumbling, https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodOfLaundryBaskets/pseuds/GoLBPodfics, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mahons_ondine/pseuds/mahons_ondine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/olive2read/pseuds/olive2pod, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhetoricalQuestions/pseuds/RhetoricalQuestions, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ships_to_sail/pseuds/ships_to_sail, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophinisba/pseuds/sophinisba, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlightsymphony/pseuds/sunlightsymphony
Summary: Alexis Rose, CEO and Founder of Alexis Rose Communications, just recieved her biggest contract ever with InterFlix: a documentary set to premiere the coveted Aspen NatureFest that often pulls an Oscar contender! To top that, Alexis and her assistant Vanti are being sent on location to develop an immersive experience for the premiere. That the location just happens to be the Galapagos Islands and the documentary includes her ex-boyfriend/fiance as one of the members of the research team that was followed, well, it's nothing a Boss Bitch of Public Relations cannot handle.Ted Mullens is just shy of finishing his three year contract with the Charles Darwin Research Center. Nearing completion of what has been the greatest adventure and a dream come true of a job, Ted has to decide where the world is taking him next. Well, the world has its own plans when the subject of his dreams that didn't come true arrives in the Galapagos Islands to prepare for the screening of their documentary. Is it fate?
Relationships: Theodore "Ted" Mullens/Alexis Rose
Comments: 43
Kudos: 96
Collections: Pod_Together 2020, Season 6 Fix It Fics





	1. Chapter 1 - Alexis

**Author's Note:**

> There is artwork spread throughout chapter 5 to enhance the story, created by this work's visual artist, RhetoricalQuestions! If you're downloading the podfic and not planning on reading along, please head back here and check out Chapter 5 when you get there. 
> 
> Music Credits: (All music sampled is used under the Creative Commons license for transformative)  
> Chapter 1: _Once in a While_ by Madeline Peyroux, _New Rules_ by Dua Lipa  
> Chapter 2: _Love Like This (acoustic)_ by Kodaline  
> Chapter 3: _Gravity_ by Sara Bareilles  
> Chapter 4: _Take Your Time_ by Vance Joy  
> Chapter 5: _Hey, That's No Way to Say Goodbye_ by Leonard Cohen  
> Outro: _I Choose You_ by Sarah Bareilles
> 
> More notes at the end of the work.

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Alexis bops along to Dua Lipa as she comes out of the subway and heads for the office building where she has rented her own space, as financed by InterFlix, for Alexis Rose Communications. It isn’t particularly trendy or the exact address she wanted for her final headquarters to be, but it’s a start. Twyla offered money the last time she’d been in New York, but it really wasn’t necessary. She has her own space and even managed to hire an assistant last year. 

The sun is shining, and Alexis swings into the ten-story building and hits the up button for the elevator with her tanned pink finger, her carefully built curls settling in around her.

When she enters the office, Vanti is already seated at their desk, and Alexis loves that one of them is an early-bird, capable of getting into the office and going through the mail before Alexis arrives. 

Going through her usual morning routine, Alexis hangs her Miu Miu purse and Chloe jacket up in the closet and tosses her hair twice before turning to Vanti. “Well? Did InterFlix send over the screener? What new, and like, fresh project are we on today?” 

Vanti turns, their smile bright against their warm brown cheeks. “Yes. It’s a new documentary that InterFlix is screening at NatureFest in Aspen. They want us to devise some signature Alexis Rose Communications’ immersive experiences.”

“Mmm. Okay. Yes.” Alexis sits on the edge of Vanti’s wrap-around desk, being mindful of the various tchotkes that decorate their space. “Love that for us. What’s the doc?”

“Oh, it’s so cool.” They click through their computer and bring up the video player. “I’ve already watched the screener twice. It follows a whole group of researchers in the Galapagos and their research into biodiversity and conservation work.”

Alexis feels all the heat seep from the room, raising every hair on her arms and settling a deep cold into her bones. Her own voice sounds a million miles away as she gasps softly, “Oh.”

“Total hotties, too. You need to see this.”

“Mmm,” the distant Alexis murmurs.

Vanti taps play. The camera pans over the open ocean and a variety of rocky coastlines and sandy beaches. There’s lush spaces and deserts and Alexis knows there’s a voice-over happening but she can’t hear it over the sound of wind rushing past her ears. Her hands carefully pick at each other while a bunch of other volunteers come on screen. They’re totally attractive and cute and she would be enjoying it a lot more if she wasn’t waiting.

Her teeth bite down harder on her lip, which she didn't realize she’d been chewing. It’s only the top of his head, leaning over a turtle, but Alexis would know that swirl pattern anywhere. Then all of a sudden his face fills up the whole screen. The beard is still a thing, and still lovely. Ted’s eyes are bright, and his smile is wide. His skin is the soft golden that could have only come from the years spent in the sun. Alexis aches.

“These guys are so slow that watching them is tortoise-urus!” Ted’s hand rubs affectionately over the back of the tortoise’s shell, and he laughs at his own joke. “Just kidding, buddy! No day with you could ever be anything other than herp-y.”

“That joke was unfortunate—“ Vanti gestures at the screen before tucking a bit of their electric pink hair behind their ear. “I mean, I didn’t even know you could get herpes from a turtle. But this guy’s adorable.”

He is adorable. He’s always been adorable, from the first moment he told her she was the prettiest thing he had ever seen. Alexis cannot go there. 

“Herp-y was short for herpetology,” Alexis explains, Ted’s own explanation ringing in her ears. “It’s the study of reptiles.”

“Wow. Cool.” 

The rest of the video plays. The visuals are sweeping. The score is beautiful. The cast of researchers are attractive and funny. The screener is compelling. It’s much better than the last film they promoted, Heatwave of Love. Luckily, only one person passed out at the premiere in the heated Tunnel of Love Alexis had built. They hadn’t been seriously hurt, and everyone had found the heat tunnel to be inventive. She might have to consider it for Aspen. Aspen gets chilly.

Previous promotions and their failings isn’t the key thing right now. Alexis needs to focus. There are things she does. She does things here. InterFlix trusts her to do things. 

Her eyes flutter rapidly as she tries to gather her thoughts. Her hands speed up in an attempt to make her brain work faster. “Umm, so, mmm. What-what, like, what kind of commitment does InterFlix want us to have for this project? What are they proposing?”

“They want a team to go down to the research facility to understand fully how to make the experiences immersive. Then, planning here, and _then_ the premiere at Aspen.”

“Wow. Wow. Wowee!” Alexis repeats, trying to be nonchalant in front of Vanti, and likely failing. Pins and needles break out over her body. “Wow. Okay.”

“We’re the team! We’re going to the Galapagos!”

“Mmm. Yes. Yep. Got that.” Alexis runs her hand over the folder containing the formal proposal; a picture of the research team is splashed across the front, mixed in with a montage of pictures from the Galapagos. She tries not to trace Ted’s face. Ted sent her so many different pictures that first month. “I was supposed to go, once.”

“Really? Why didn’t you?”

They’ve never had this relationship, she and Vanti, for Alexis to share much of her past. “Timing wasn’t right.”

They lean back in their desk chair. “Well, this is like fate then. Your second chance.”

“Yeah.” Alexis shakes her head to clear the ghosts of breakups past. Blowing out a breath and bringing her arms down along her body, Alexis steels herself to handle what comes next. “Okay, well, we need a full set of plans, umm, tickets, the budget that InterFlix is planning on paying. Do they want to go up for an Oscar? Umm...you know, the usual stuff.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Yup. I’m just going to...I’m going to need a stop on my way to the Galapagos. Or like before? When do we leave? We need to pack. And get shots. From the doctors, not the bar. Although we could do both. They’re not that bad, the shots from the doctor. I think I still have like a list for the Galapagos. Things stay in your phone, right?” Alexis swipes her phone open and begins tapping at it. “I mean, I know things stay in your phone. There’s like... the cloud.”

“Should be in a couple places,” Vanti confirms. We’ll find it.”

“Cool, what else?” 

“Well, Elena is our contact in the Galapagos. She’s in HR at the research station and will be coordinating our time there.”

Alexis allows herself to listen to Vanti go through the information they gleaned from the emails and proposal from InterFlix. All the while, her brain keeps tracking back to Ted, and the future she once thought would be hers. She keeps forcing herself back to the current moment and tries not to let it drag her backwards.

— 

Some people would consider it running away. Alexis considers it a normal thing for a very early Thursday morning—taking an impromptu flight to Toronto, then driving _six_ hours to find herself sitting on the steps of her brothers’ business... She thinks about popping in to sit with Twyla while she waits, but she’s not ready to spill all of her secrets and feelings yet. She’s been sitting for forty-five minutes with her suitcase by her side when Patrick wanders up and startles to a stop. She knows she can bother him and David for several hours and feel more like herself. He waves at her; his unnervingly pale hands dive immediately into his pockets afterwards, as always happens when he doesn’t know what to do. Alexis waves back as she stands.

He gives her a familiar smile that straddles the line of confused and amused. “Uh, Alexis, this is a surprise.”

“Yeah. I just thought, you know, I had some business up here, so I’d pop in and help you,” Alexis pokes at his shoulder to emphasize the words. “It’s inventory day, right?”

Patrick’s brow furrows deeply. “Uh, yeah. We mentioned that on Sunday, but you didn’t say that you would _be_ here.”

“You say that like I cannot come and help my _favorite_ brother.” She reaches out, and Patrick does not move away when she boops him softly on the nose. 

“Okay, Alexis.”

Patrick lets her and her wheeled suitcase inside the store without saying anything about how she could have come to the house, or called, or anything. One of the things that she likes most about Patrick is he doesn’t force conversations that people don’t want to have. He gives her a job counting the toners and ensuring their labels are all facing the right way out, then teases her about sneaking products into her purse. It’s quiet and companionable. Something simple is exactly what she needed today. 

David swings in later that morning, a tray of drinks in his hand. He whips off his signature white sunglasses that Alexis knows he owns, like, _seven pairs_ of, with his free hand and gapes at her. There’s a bright pink flush on his olive cheeks. “What the fuck?”

Alexis blinks at David, putting on her best innocent face, as Patrick shrugs. “She was sitting on the stoop when I showed up for work. I figured it would be cruel to send her all the way back to New York.”

“I am here to be helpful, David. I’m going to help you and my favorite brother finish inventory up early.” She shakes the bottles of toner she was counting at him. 

David snatches the bottles out of her hand and carefully places them back on the counter. “You’re not helpful when you’re taking product that we’re trying not to lose, and I just sent you a care package of free product. So, what the fuck are you doing here, Alexis?”

“I can’t just come see my brothers?”

David frowns, deep and disapproving. “You don’t.”

“Ugh, David,” Alexis tries, stamping her foot, “I, like, _missed you_ , and stuff.”

David waves his sunglasses at her wildly, “We were texting yesterday, and you never mentioned coming here.”

“I took the Red Eye.”

“From New York to Toronto? That’s not even the right direction. Everyone knows the Red Eye is for flights traveling west to east, when you leave at night to arrive in the morning. You did something entirely different.”

“You were on my way, okay?” It’s not really true. She’ll have to head back to New York to finish things up before flying to the Galapagos via Quito. 

David’s arms dive into his armpits in a deep cross. “Schitt’s Creek isn’t on the way to anywhere except Elm Grove.”

Alexis scoffs and tosses her hair twice for good measure. Her eyes flutter despite her better sense of control. David always throws her off. “Well, you are.”

“On your way to what?” Patrick interjects before David can yell.

“Oh,” she says casually, her finger carefully tracing patterns on the counter that amount to nonsense shapes. “Interflix has a new documentary they’re planning on showing at Aspen, and they want me to do the publicity, you know, immersive, like I did for Mom’s _Crows_ , movie. I’m going to go hang out on location for a while, immerse myself to prepare for the immersive experience, and then set up the plans for immersing everyone in Aspen.”

“Oh, and the documentary takes place in rural Ontario?” David asks. That stupid, smug voice he has.

“No.”

“Mmkay! _Anywhere_ in Canada?”

Ugh! Sometimes her brother is the absolute worst. “Sniff asbestos, David!”

David lets out a scoff along with one of his annoying shrugs and waves his hands at her. “I just think the point should be made that we’re not on your way to this documentary.”

“So,” Patrick interrupts their argument, placing a hand on David’s shoulder. “What is the documentary?”

Alexis beams at her favorite brother, and flicks her hair as close to David’s face as possible. He sputters and bats at the air as she begins answering Patrick’s question. “It’s actually this super cute, really cool documentary. It follows a bunch of, like, doctor types on an island, you know? And there’s a trailer. Hold on.”

She doesn’t know how to tell them any of this out loud. It’s better if they see it. Then they’ll understand why this is amazing and terrifying all at once. She can count on David to tell her if she should go or not, if she asks him directly. He did last time. He will again.

Alexis grabs the tablet out of her purse and cues up the promo screener. She angles it perfectly and then hides behind it, fiddling with a display of soaps and occasionally worrying her hands together, trying not to pick at her manicure. Gels are a miracle, and she’s grateful to have them back in her life. She’s not going to destroy them the day after she got a calming turquoise shade put on so she could relax.

Alexis keeps shooting furtive glances in nervous anticipation, until finally she hears David gasp. Both hands are framing his face, and his mouth is doing that stupid little ‘O’ it makes when he’s shocked. Patrick just says “Oh,” softly, and they both look back at her. Alexis tries to fix the soaps again but ends up knocking them all off the display in a clatter. 

David’s hands slide off his face; the ‘O’ transforms into an irritated frown as he regards the pile of soaps on the floor. “Well, I think that’s just about enough of that.”

Alexis looks up at them with blank eyes. “I didn’t mean—”

“Patrick, we have a clean up in the aisle.”

Alexis scoops the little soaps up in her arms and tries to put them back on the shelf. “Oh my god, David!”

“Stop touching them.”

“ _You_ stop touching them.” Alexis says, trying to catch the soaps that keep sliding down when she places them back at the top, in a never ending loop. 

“I’m NOT.” David soothes himself with a breath, and unclenches his fists. “Okay, you know what? Patrick is going to handle all this, and you and I are going to go sit down.”

He takes her arm in a move that’s reminiscent of their childhood and drags her toward the back room. 

“Ow, David! What?” Alexis asks, insulted as David manhandles her into a seat on the “antique” back-room couch.

David’s hands oscillate between fisting on his hips and waving in the air while he asks, “Is taking this, this ... documentary, on a good plan?”

“Yes, David.” Alexis frowns as David’s hands finally settle on his hips. “I mean...this isn’t like the _Crows_ films or _Heatwave of Love._ This...this is going to be at NatureFest in Aspen. It’s like a _real_ film with a _real_ festival premiere.”

“Aspen?” David asks, perking right up and perching beside her on the worn sofa. “Can we go to Aspen?”

Alexis frowns and tilts her head. “Why would you go to Aspen?”

“Uh, we’re family.”

Alexis narrows her eyes at David. “Mmm. You know there’s only a limited amount of tickets given out, and most of those go to people you want to promote the film to, and to the crew, and we’re even inviting the cast. If there’s any extras, we’ll let people invite family members. Ted’s probably going to want his tickets to go to like his mom and Bill. Why would he want his ex-fiance’s brothers?”

Alexis pretends to focus on carefully running one fingernail under another, mindful of her manicure, while glancing at David through her eyelashes. “Also, David, we’re not reliving the awful days of stealing the jet to fly to Aspen and stalk Mariah on Christmas.”

“Umm, it’s not like that anymore. We’re friends.”

“Uhh, she said your name, once, on a video call, and you proceeded to pass out. Which, the memory of you pitching sideways and falling to the floor and out of the screen is so delightful. I picture you like a little puppy, on your back, legs in the air, just twitching.” Alexis mimes the image of hands just twitching at her bent wrists and smirks at her brother.

“Step on a landmine, Alexis.”

Patrick, invoking his sixth sense about David’s distress, steps into the back room, hands in his pockets. One slips out to rub at David’s back. “Alright, the soaps are cleaned up. How are we doing?”

Alexis rolls her eyes and again pretends to focus on her nails. “Point is, David, this is, like, an actual real opportunity for me. Like, NatureFest documentaries often wind up leading to the Oscars. Could you imagine if I got to promote a film for the Oscars?”

David frowns deeply. “But you’re going to go to the Galapagos, and Ted will be there.”

“So, David? I can go to the Galapagos and see Ted. I’m fine. I’m doing great.”

“Thriving in fact?” 

Alexis sneers at her brother who is mocking her with his eyebrows up around his hairline. Like he doesn’t use the word thriving all the time when in fact he is not. 

Patrick’s hand slips off of David’s back and into his pocket. “I’m going to go get lunch. Alexis, what can I grab you from the cafe?”

“Oh, you know what Patrick, I’ll take care of it.” Alexis stands and brushes past him, heading for her tablet and bag at the front. She quickly shoves the tablet in its sleeve. David and Patrick emerge from the back, and Alexis glances at them before zipping the bag shut. “Does Twy know your usual orders or should you, like, text me? I’m just going to go, and you can text me if Twyla doesn’t know. Or I’ll just have her, like, throw some stuff in a bag.”

Alexis grabs her purse and swings around to head out the door, the sound of scattered chapsticks hitting the floor in her wake making her cringe. - 

“Fuck!” David calls from behind her. 

Alexis turns her head and shouts, “It’s just chapstick, David!”

“Stay gone, you demon!”

Alexis flees out the front door, bell ringing as it slams shut behind her. 

A large new sign proclaiming “Twyla’s” has been added to the old Cafe Tropical sign. Alexis smiles and shifts her purse on her shoulder before sliding inside the cafe. It hasn’t changed much since she was swinging in daily. Now, there’s fresh wax on the floor, new plastic tops on the tables and the menus are somehow even larger. 

Twyla’s bent over a table, picking up dishes and silverware, a long, rich amber braid down her back. Alexis wants to surprise her, remembering the times she hit Twyla with a muffin to get her attention. Before she can find something, Twyla straightens and turns. A smile spreads across her bright pink face, and she’s beaming as she wipes the sheen on her forehead. It’s so wonderful to see her that it takes a minute for Alexis to take in all of Twyla. There’s a noticeable, rounded bump emerging from underneath Twyla’s floral shirt.

“Alexis.”

Alexis snaps her gaping mouth shut before dropping it open again. “Oh My God, Twy! Look at you!”

Twyla beams even brighter, stretching her arms out towards Alexis. “Look at me? Look at you.”

“ _I_ am certainly not the one who’s pregnant, Twy! Look at that baby bump.”

Twyla smiles softly, and runs a hand over the side of her belly. “I told you I was pregnant, Alexis.”

“Yes,” Alexis reaches out a nervous hand to touch Twyla’s belly. It’s warm and solid; she feels a small rippling movement underneath, “but I didn’t expect little Alexis to be so big yet.”

Twyla pushes her hand away and picks up the bin of dirty dishes. “We’re not naming the baby Alexis.”

“You should. It’s a great name!” Twyla glides behind the counter, somehow still graceful despite being pregnant. Alexis hops up on her usual stool. “Hey, how did you know it was me?”

“Saw your reflection in the coffee pot.” Twyla grins and shrugs. “And I saw you waiting for Patrick to show up this morning. You could have come in.”

“I wasn’t ready to talk.” 

Twyla takes a dish of spamalam from the kitchen passthrough and drops it off to the patron at the end of the bar. Her smile is knowing as she asks, “And now you are?” 

Alexis sighs and pillows her chin on her hand as a way of an answer. She is but isn’t. She’ll require Twyla’s prodding.

Like clockwork, Twyla asks. “Smoothie?”

“The usual.” Although with Twyla, nothing is ever usual. The smoothies have improved since the first one Alexis ever sipped. Who knows what fruits and veggies will end up in this one. 

Twyla pulls out a bag of spinach and some chunks of pineapple that look frozen. She’s talking while she prepares the smoothie. “So, what’s up. What brings you home?”

New York should be home. She lives there now, and has for almost three years. She barely comes to Schitt’s Creek. But somehow everyone seems to call it her home. Alexis never corrects them. 

“I have been asked to do the promotions for an InterFlix documentary that is premiering at a film festival. Like, an _Oscar_ -worthy film festival.”

Twyla drops the chunks of pineapple into the blender with a splash and turns around. “Oh my god! Alexis! That’s amazing.”

Alexis raises her chin with the back of her hand, fingers extended. “I know. I know.”

Twyla shakes her head, amused, and turns back to adding orange juice and some more spinach. “You did such a good job with the Crows premiere. I had _so much fun_ with those crows.”

“Didn’t we all? Anyway, they’re sending me to _where_ the documentary was filmed to get some ideas. Like, an _actual_ company paid vacation.”

Twyla turns on the blender, yelling over it. “Oh My GOD! Alexis! Where are you going?”

“The Galapagos.”

Twyla settles the bright green smoothie in front of Alexis, pausing. Her smile has gone from a bright 12 to a soft 4. “The Galapagos?”

“Mmmhmm.” Alexis maneuvers the smoothie out of Twyla’s hand and takes a sip. A cough forces its way up her throat, and Alexis tries to swallow it. She forgot how bracing the smoothies could be. She tilts her head and smiles at Twyla. “It’s going to be a super cute look for me.”

Twyla’s eyebrows draw together, and Alexis hates the concern that pools in her eyes. Why is everyone so worried? This is a job. 

“Alexis, isn’t _Ted_ still in the Galapagos?”

Alexis stirs the straw carefully, looking at the not entirely blended bits of spinach in her smoothie. “Yes. Yup. He’s actually _in_ the documentary.”

“Are you okay with that?”

Alexis scoffs. “Why wouldn’t I be okay? I mean, I used to work for Ted when he was with Heather and other women. I can handle two weeks in the Galapagos with him.”

“You’re still in love with him.”

_Yes,_ Alexis thinks, but doesn’t say out loud. Instead, she takes a sip from the smoothie before stirring it some more. “I mean, love is, like, a strong word. Ted is the only human being I have ever actually been in love with, but, like, I’ve got this. I’m now _ON_ BuzzFeed’s list of Boss Bitch women, not just following it.”

“Hey, Alexis!”

“Brandin!” Alexis calls back as Twyla’s husband comes out of the kitchen; she’s grateful to not have to look too deeply at Twyla’s all-seeing eyes. “Hey!”

Brandin’s not tall, he’s maybe 5’7”, but he’s sturdy. His hair sits in tight, close-cropped curls on his head, and his stubble runs a narrow line along his chin line. He’s resting a big tray of food between his shoulder and his rich brown hand. “I still owe you a thank you.”

He doesn’t, really. It’s not like she did anything, like make appointments or pay for anything. Getting the name of the best top surgeon was easy enough. “Please, if I couldn’t use my time on the season of Dancing with the Stars with Chaz Bono for good, I don’t know what I would do. You’re looking good. You ready to be a dad?”

“Getting there,” Brandin answers. 

“Brandin’s read like twenty different books on parenting,” Twyla says conspiratorially, loading dishes into the dishwasher. There’s a loving, affectionate way that Twyla teases Brandin, and it makes Alexis ache a little. “He’s also on all the blogs.”

“Driving you crazy?”

“No. I mean, most of the fathers in my family are busy drinking rye straight out of the bottle and yelling for more sandwiches or washed clothes, so it’s a nice change.”

Alexis blinks at that story, but is saved by Brandin sliding his tray on the counter next to her. He leans against a chair without sitting. “I didn’t know you were coming up.”

“Oh, Alexis just wanted to share that she’s got a big movie premiere she’s been asked to do. She’s going to be amazing.”

Brandin grins, and for someone she barely knows, Alexis really likes Brandin. She also likes how happy he makes Twy. “Oh, wow! The premiere of _Mermanstic_ was amazing. I loved the way you used the sparklers to recreate the special effects of transformation from human to Merman. And the blue carpet instead of red. Very thoughtful.”

Alexis blinks rapidly, very pleased. “Thank you! I was so glad that you both came to New York for that.”

Twyla reaches out and takes Alexis’s hand, giving her a squeeze. “Where’s this one? We’ll buy tickets. We can rent a house.”

Once upon a time, her objection would have been about money, but considering Twyla had enough money to buy all of Elm Valley, that wasn’t a problem. The problem was more the bump under Twyla’s apron. “Umm, you’re having a baby.”

“I know. But I want to support you. My aunt was still dancing at Bazonga’s Gentlemen’s Lounge when she went into labor. She had my cousin Daisy in the bathroom.”

“Well, we’re doing this one in Aspen in a few months.” Alexis tents her hands on the table and taps them to add emphasis. “I _will_ send you the details, but if it’s not safe for you to travel I don’t want you to come.”

Brandin just chuckles. “I’ll handle her. How long are you in Schitt’s Creek for?”

Allexis blinks, thinking. “Oh, not long. Just the weekend. I’m going to check on some businesses I consult with before I take off for the Galapagos in case I am not super reachable if something were to come up.”

“That’s awesome.”

Alexis slides off of her chair, and waves. She’s gotten what she needs now. “I’ll be in for breakfast tomorrow.” She’s half-way to the door, busy thinking about what she’s going to do to distract David and Patrick from talking about her when she’s back in the store, when she pauses and turns around. “Oh, wait, I was supposed to get food for David and Patrick.”

Twyla just waves her off. “I’ll grab you their usuals.”

“Thanks, Twy.”

That night, after Patrick has fed them a delightful dinner to make up for David complaining all day about Twyla’s insistence on feeding him tuna melts despite him never ordering one in his life, Alexis lies in their guest room. No one has been super supportive, but no one told her not to go. The more Alexis reflects on the concern that Twyla, David and Patrick expressed, including all throughout dinner, the more certain she is about going. She could just send Vanti, but Alexis isn’t ready to leave this part of the process to her assistant, especially when this includes a trip to the tropics. Besides, the Galapagos is an old foe she hasn’t yet conquered.

She is glad she came, she decides, turning over and pulling the quilt up to her chin. She only feels more certain of the decision she made from the first moment Vanti said the word “Galapagos” a day ago.


	2. Chapter 2 - Ted

**Stream:**

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Most days, Ted wakes up and cannot believe this is his life. He’s living in the Galapagos, a place where it’s bright and sunny, researching the most diverse animals in the world and living out dreams he didn’t think were possible when he was young. For the most part, every day is a beautiful sunrise, a new discovery and the feeling that he’s on the front line. It's invigorating.

Some days, however, the homesickness hits Ted like a wave that comes out of nowhere and threatens to drown him. It happens around Christmas when his cookies bake funny and the icing won't set because it’s too warm. It crops up when the flowers are in bloom and the scent that floats through his windows makes Ted dream of a sparkling laugh coming from a person he cannot find no matter how hard he searches. It’s when he’s run the same experiment for the thousandth time and he misses the variety of animals brought through the vet room doors and the conversations with their owners.

The Galapagos never would have happened for Ted without Alexis Rose. Before Alexis blew into his life, Ted had barely gone beyond 500 kilometers from Schitt’s Creek, perfectly content to live and die in the place he called home. When he went on the couple's trip to Mexico all those years ago, entirely alone, Ted found that he could thrive in different environments that ultimately pushed him to apply for his dream. Ted owes Alexis everything; he does. If some days he wishes that he had never allowed her to push him on the Galapagos thing, and that he’d instead lived out his life in the house he owned outright with his own personal miracle curled up in his arms, well, Ted just tells himself those are the bad days. 

Alexis is off living her best life, anyway. She’s in New York, sitting behind the desk she always belonged at. If he’s printed out BuzzFeed’s list of Boss Bitches in Media, it’s only because he is proud of knowing someone who made it onto those kinds of lists. Alexis Rose goes after what she wants, and Ted loves that about her.

“Hey, you want to head down to the main building?” Paolo asks, stretching at his lab bench.

Ted puts the pictures of finches down, reorganizing the ones left into one large pile with his sun-tanned tawny hands. The recovery of the mangrove finches is a top priority. “Sure. Why?”

Paolo comes over to lean against Ted’s bench. One of the native Ecuadorians on the team, Paolo is on a contract from Quito. His golden brown arms are warm against the white Research Station polo. “InterFlix is sending some people to prepare for the documentary screening.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s going to be coming up soon, huh?”

“A few months,” Paolo confirms. “We’ll get to go see the U.S. I suppose. Elena took the van to pick up the InterFlix team.”

The camera crews left months ago, but the news that they are going to a film festival has reignited the excitement amongst the team. They’ve been wondering who the narrator of the documentary is going to be, and names from Morgan Freeman to David Attenborough have been debated. Ryan Reynolds, too, who, in Ted’s opinion, did an amazing job with the Great Bear Rainforest documentary.

Outside, it is another beautiful, warm day as they head out of the labs towards the main gate of the research center to meet the documentary liaisons; they stop to pick up Naomi from the Galapagos Verde 2050 greenhouses and labs along the way. On days like today Ted finds his memory superimposing Alexis onto this tropical landscape. He imagines her clearly, standing here, smiling at him, her voice breaking as she teases him the way she used to. 

He’s still lost in his daydream, when the laughter reaches him. It carries lightly on the wind and crackles like a sparkler. Only this time when he turns towards the sound, Alexis Rose is actually standing there, golden in the dappled light, rather than just a phantom of her. Her sun-kissed hair tumbles down in a messy braid from under the wide-brimmed hat she has pressed to her head. She is still the most beautiful thing Ted has ever seen. 

Naomi stops short, using her deep brown hand to shade her eyes for a better look. “Oh, she must be one of the Hollywood types they’re bringing in.”

“Yeah,” Ted breathes, the air slowly returning to his lungs. 

“She’s hot,” Naomi says, and Ted wonders if time has made Alexis even more attractive.

“She’s probably awful. Most of those media types are,” Paolo says.

He should say something, because Alexis Rose is the furthest thing from awful he’s ever known. 

Alexis turns from the van to look at them, her bags arranged at her feet, and the laughter stops. She’s frozen for a long moment until her fawn hand raises in a wave, while Ted foolishly waves back; his legs involuntarily draw him to her, stopping a couple of feet short of where she’s standing. An irrational part of him wonders if she’s single, if she’s waited for him, but it’s been almost three years since he got on a plane knowing that Alexis wouldn’t be waiting for him when he returned. Now she seems to have materialized on this island out of nowhere. 

“Hi, Ted,” Alexis greets. Her voice is soft and shy and incongruent with the bold woman who features in most of his dreams.

“You two know each other?” Paolo asks, and Ted isn’t sure how long he’s been standing here like an idiot, because Paolo and Naomi have caught up to him.

“Uh, yeah.” Sometimes he forgets that the team has rotated during his time in the Galapagos. Only Krista and Farhan still remain from his original team. They’re the only ones who would know who Alexis was and what she meant to him. They were the ones who held him together after he got off the long plane ride back. “Yeah.” 

He shakes his head of the fog that has crept in. “Alexis, it’s good to see you.”

Her lips tip up at the corners, slowly, into a soft smile. She bobs her head, ever so slightly. “It’s good to see you, Ted.”

Alexis turns to Paolo and Naomi, holding out her right hand with the palm facing down, which is her favorite way to shake hands. No one knows what to do with it still. Her left index finger drifts up to point at the golden A in the hollow of her throat. “Hello, Alexis Rose of Alexis Rose Communications, and I’ve been hired to be the publicist for the delightful documentary you all have coming up. I’m just here to get a feel for everything with you so we can create some immersive experiences at the premiere. It’s kind of my signature.”

Ted tries not to laugh. He still remembers her explaining that the Crows premiere had been an accident. Then, she took the whole thing and spun it into a career, pretending the crow attack had been a planned stunt. He won't blow her cover as a publicity mastermind, mostly because she genuinely is one. 

Instead, he forces his mouth to open. “Uh, yeah, Alexis. This is Naomi and Paolo. They’re both here on a six month contract.”

“Oh, excellent. I cannot wait to see _all_ of the Galapagos and get to know how everything works here.”

There’s a note in her voice that rings slightly false, and Ted can’t be sure what is causing it. Is it the fact that she doesn’t want to be here, or the fact that he **is** here? “How—how long are you here?”

“Two weeks.” Her hands flutter about as she explains, flicking her hair back and flipping at the wrists. “Then I’ll go back to New York and do some groundwork before Aspen. But, I hear you’ll all be coming to that, so that’s so, so exciting.”

“Two weeks.”

“Yup.” Her smile falters and is replaced with a soft one, before she says softly, “Finally made it.”

Ted told her not to come, told her that she would hate everything here, and now here Alexis stands, for her own career and not for him. Before, every time he thought he saw her here, it was just a figment of his imagination. Now, however, he’s going to find out exactly what it would have been like to have Alexis here alongside his dream job, and if she doesn’t hate it—

He stops himself before he can complete that thought.The decision to break up was correct. They had examined the decision a million ways, and even then he almost turned around halfway to the airport to tell her he wouldn’t stay for three years. 

“Oh,” Alexis starts, breaking an awkward silence Ted wasn’t aware of until she spoke. Her fingers poke at him in a familiar dance. “Don’t let me forget. I have some things for you in my bag.”

“You do?”

“Uh, yeah.” Alexis flips at her braid and shimmies a little. “I uh, I went home, you know, for a little before I, like, came all the way here and when I said I was coming down here for a job people wanted to know if I would bring some stuff.”

“You went home?”

“Yeah. I mean, Schitt’s Creek isn’t, like, _home_ home, anymore, really, cause I don’t, like, _live_ there. But David and Patrick are there, and Tywla and Stevie and everyone but my parents and I figured I should make sure all my accounts in Ontario were good before I got away from good internet services. So like, Dot may have given me some stuff from the ladies, and they want your autograph on a news article they clipped. Oh, and your mom had like a ton of stuff for you because shipping to the Galapagos is, apparently, like, very ridiculous and since my flight here was like all expenses included, I just threw it into an extra suitcase. So, like, once they settle me wherever I’m staying, come find me, okay?”

Her hand settles on his arm, warm and comforting. He’s not sure which is more unsettling, Alexis touching him or the news of what she’s been up to. “You saw my mom?”

“Yes. Well, I did some quick promo stuff for the gym, you know, so I touched base with her and Bill. Oh, and Shan had some stuff for you.”

“Yeah?” he asks, unable to figure out another word to say in place of all of his questions. Schitt’s Creek and the people who live there have all felt somewhat frozen in a different place and time since he left. 

“She’s totally got a leg up on Dr. Miguel.” Alexis lifts her leg in an awkward, teetery pose and the pun of a dog peeing pops into his brain. Ted freezes as Alexis drops her leg back down.

“Alexis,” Ted tries, but his voice is barely more than a whisper. 

Alexis blinks twice and then reanimates, fluttering around her bags. “Anyway, I should go figure out where I’m off to.” She turns her bright smile on the crowd, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Ted wonders if anyone else can tell. “It was SO nice to meet everyone. I cannot wait to get to know you all more.”

Alexis takes the small wheeled suitcase by the handle and another person comes up beside her with a portfolio held in their golden hand, and the two of them follow Elena across the path into the main exhibit hall. Elena is explaining things with her hands gesturing rapidly, but the soft olive tones of her face and her gentle voice are very pleasing and reassuring.

The rest of the day is a wash, pretty much. Ted miscounts flies, twice. Zoya teases him about his inability to do his usual job. Everyone has questions about Alexis and InterFlix after Krista looks entirely gobsmacked by the idea that Alexis is here. They want to know why she didn’t come back when she and Ted were dating, and what Ted’s going to do about it now. Krista lets it slip that Alexis is his ex-fiance, which honestly, was a long time ago, and that sets off a whole new round of questions. 

Ted decides the trouble is the cognitive dissonance of having Alexis in the Galapagos when they aren’t together. She’s just here. His brain has filled her into these spaces before, but she’s always flung herself into him the way she did when he arrived at the motel room door after the trip from hell. Before they made their decision, she’d tried reasoning that she could work remotely or she couldn’t live without him, but none of those options really felt like Alexis. She can live without him. He’s pretty sure Alexis can do anything, has already done things that no other human being has ever done.

Really, could anyone else break the window of a car with stilettos as it was sinking into a lake, and then also use them to dislodge the jammed seatbelt?

Elena already informed the research team that the documentary liaisons would be staying in the village of small cabins that are reserved for volunteers and temporary employees. Ted once thought about getting an apartment like the other long-term employees of the Research Center, but he likes the community feel of the village. There is something lovely about sharing communal meals and traveling to the lab together in the mornings.

The light in Cabin 8 is on when the last van from the Center pulls up in the village, with Ted onboard. No one has lived there since Midori left early. He’s pretty sure it’s Alexis and her assistant. 

Ted putters around his own cabin, sorting his field notes from the day into their folders based on his filing system. Soon he cannot resist the pull any longer and makes his way across the compound. Within moments he’s in front of the door to Cabin 8, unsure what to do next. No. He knows **what** to do, obviously, it’s just that his hand feels like a lead weight, heavy and hard to lift. But the longer he’s out here, the more likely someone is to find him creepy. 

After what feels like a small eternity, he lifts his hand up and knocks. The sound dissipates and Ted is left with nothing but the rushing noise in his head for what feels like another eternity, until he hears voices and movement on the other side of the door. 

When the door opens, Alexis is there, on the other side. Something in her expression reminds him of the last time they were together in the cafe. He thinks it might be the slight half-smile. “Ted.”

“Hey. You said to come by.”

Alexis’s assistant stands from their seated position on one of the beds, a smile fixed on their face. “I can give you some space.”

“Oh, you don’t have to—” 

“Oh, thank you, Vanti—”

They both respond at once.

They all stand frozen for a minute before Ted scrubs at the back of his neck. “I won’t be long. I really don’t want to displace you…” He trails off, trying to figure out what name Alexis said as he was speaking.

The assistant reaches out a hand after brushing a lock of vibrant pink hair out of their eyes. “Vanti. I’m Alexis’s second-in-command at ARC.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Ted.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Anyway, I’ll just go. Someone said there was a hang-out place?” Vanti asks. Ted wants to answer but he’s getting lost in Alexis’s eyes. “To the left? I’ll find it.”

They scoot out around Ted, and he’s left staring at Alexis, golden in the glow of the lights. Alexis’s index finger twirls the ends of her braid as she leans against the doorframe. 

“Oh, come in. Come in.”

“Thanks.”

The room is strewn with open bags. Clothes and shoes are flowing out of them like pahoehoe lava. It’s very comforting that some things about Alexis haven’t changed a bit in three years. Her plaited hair hangs over her shoulder and her fingers continue playing with the ends. If things were different, Ted would take her hands in his and stop their twitching.  
That Alexis just as nervous as him is comforting. But not comforting enough to help him come up with anything to say other than, “So.”

“So, this is yours,” Alexis says, dragging one of the few unopened suitcases towards him. 

“A whole suitcase?”

“Yeah, it’s not like it was a lot...only like an extra hundred dollar fee for like every leg of the flight, and InterFlix paid for it.”

“Well, thank you for lugg-age-ing it all the way here.”

He is rewarded with a laugh. Alexis shrugs. “Like, I said, when people at home found out I was coming here, they wanted to send stuff. Everyone misses you.”

“Yeah. I miss everyone. You should have seen the cookies I made for Christmas this year. They were not looking pine, fir sure, because I couldn’t get the icing needle sharp. The designs were all runny.”

“Well, I mean, you’re here, and it’s very warm and lovely.”

“How’s New York?”

“Good. Great. I mean, amazing.”

“That’s good.”

Her generous smile spreads across her face. “Yeah. I’ve been getting a chance to do promo work for a bunch of different projects for InterFlix. I’m really excited about this one though.”

“Yeah?”

“NatureFest will be my first big film festival.”

“Congratulations.”

The smile retreats as Alexis grows serious. “I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you, Ted. I mean, who else thought I could even finish high school? Now, you’re taking me to my first film festival.” Her smile returns, but it’s softer this time. 

Ted frowns, his head tilting sideways. “Didn’t your family think you had finished high school?”

“Yeah, but like, not without paying other people to take my tests or sleeping with teachers for a better grade.” He opens his mouth to ask questions about _that_ horrifying statement, but Alexis waves her hands and pokes at him. “The point is, I wouldn’t have done high school or college without you, Ted. I would probably still be sitting around Schitt’s Creek bothering David, or just be Mom’s sad assistant.”

“No. You were always going to be something amazing Alexis.”

Alexis fidgets slightly at his words, dropping her gaze down and away before releasing a breath and looking at him again. Her smile takes on a teasing edge and she pokes at his shoulder with manicured nails. “Well, you still look good. Aside from a little homesickness, how are you?”

“Good. We’re doing great work here. It’s the tail end of breeding season for the mangrove finches and we may have as many as twenty-five breeding pairs.” Ted wants to tell her more about why that’s important, but the arrangement of toiletries on the table catches his eye. Ted leans down and picks up a bottle. “Hey, you remembered reef-safe shampoo.”

“Yeah. I had the list.”

Ted frowns at the bottle before putting it back down on the table. “I wasn’t sure InterFlix would have thought of that.”

“No, Ted. It was your list. You shared it with me when I was— when we…” She looks at him with owl-eyes before blinking and waving her phone around. “Anyway, I got a new phone. They’re comically large now. But you just plug it in and it transfers all your stuff from the cloud so I still...had it.”

“Oh. Good. That’s good. You know, cause the pipes run right out,” Ted explains, running his hand down to imitate water moving through the pipes. “And they’re not supposed to go into the ocean but they totally do. There really should be more work done on the pollutants that get released…” Ted trails off, as he focuses instead on Alexis’s smile. 

“So there’s some real cuties here, Ted. Anyone like, really special?”

The word _you_ almost slips from his lips but Ted catches it. “No, not like...not like that. It’s a small community and most people are only here for a few months. Nothing serious makes sense.”

“You never know. It’s enough time to fall in love and, like, get engaged!” Alexis’s giggle is high pitched to match her words. Unless she’s changed a lot, that high-pitch signifies a lot of nerves. 

Ted just shakes his head. He had fallen in love with Alexis within a matter of months and had been so terrified to lose her that he’d proposed. She’d been right to break it off back then, just like they were right to end their relationship three years ago. Still, meeting Alexis was like catching lightning in a bottle. 

Ted tries for a smile; he isn’t sure how much of one he actually manages. “No, no one here like that. I think that only really happens to you once.” 

“You never know.”

“Yeah,” he says, like he’s agreeing with her, even though Ted knows he’s right.

Alexis breaks eye contact first and spins in a little circle, glancing at her sprawling bags. “So, um, I’m just going to like, arrange these things in a more orderly fashion and umm, you’ll probably want to take that back to your space.”

“Yeah. I guess I’ll just make like a tree and leaf.” He’s rewarded with another quick giggle, before he grabs the handle of his bag and makes his way to the door. There’s a million things he wants to say, but he cannot figure out how to say them. There’s a very real possibility that it’s only going to hurt them both if he does.

His hand is on the door handle when Alexis calls out, “Ted?”

“Yeah?” he asks, turning to face her. His throat suddenly goes dry.

Alexis stands amongst her things, Venus amongst the waves. She lets out a shaky breath after a beat, and then says, “I, uh, I just wanted to know what we do for dinner?”

“Oh,” Much more sensible than he was thinking of. He points. “There’s a dining hall next to the rec center where Vanti went. Come down in an hour or two.”

“Cool. Very cool,” Alexis says, giving him an “OK,” sign with her hand while nodding. 

“See you then.”

“Mmmhmmm.” 

Alexis waves. Ted steps out into the warm, humid air. The door shuts easily behind him, and he lets out another breath. 

Ted drops the suitcase in the corner of his room. He’s too raw right now to open this bag of things from home. He’d end up in tears. Alexis being here after all these years is harder than he ever imagined. Mostly because he never thought she could show up this way. He didn’t expect to find her here this morning. 

Instead, Ted wanders down to the dining hall, past the table where Vanti and Naomi are talking while preparing the yucca and tuna for encebollado, and heads into the kitchen. 

Focusing on making dinner with fresh seafood that Paolo grabbed from the market downtown relaxes Ted. His shoulders drop from his ears, and the prickle of hot tears disappears from the corner of his eyes. Paolo is putting together arroz con leche.

Heels click on the floor and then come to a stop. Ted looks up and sees Alexis stopped in her tracks just within the door. “Oh, wow, everyone’s here and _cooking?”_

Ted nods, noticing her deer-in-the-headlights look. He tries to be as welcoming as possible considering she’s never been comfortable in the kitchen. “Yeah, we do group meals.”

Vanti smiles while informing the group, “I have never seen Alexis cook. It’s all yogurts, hummus and take out.”

Ted doesn’t feel comfortable with Alexis being called out, even if it’s true. “Hey, Alexis, you still remember how to cut mango, right?” he asks, having already cut the mango flesh away from the stone in the center. “I’m making salsa to go with the fish.”

“Yes. _Yes.”_ Alexis does a happy little bob. “Like that time we made fruit salad.” 

Or the time he made a fruit salad and Alexis mostly stole pieces of fruit. She had cut some of the pieces herself before growing bored and wandering away. “Exactly. Just smaller pieces.” 

Alexis falls into step beside him and takes the mango with a shy smile. He tries not to pay too much attention to the way she smells like musk and white daffodil or how much this feels like a dream.

Somewhere in the food prep, the conversation turns to parasites. Both of their recent arrivals are making faces as the scientists compare various run-ins with horrifying things. Naomi is retelling a particularly terrifying story of a run-in with zombie wasps while she was working on ecological study in Tanzania. 

A familiar chorus of, “Ew! Ew!” breaks out next to him. Glancing over, he sees Alexis’s eyes are closed, and her hands are flapping loosely at the wrists.

“Oh, come on Alexis,” Ted chides, plating up the fish on a platter. “You had lice.”

Alexis slaps him across the shoulder with a potholder, and Ted cannot help but grin in return. “Ted! Ew!”

“Everyone has had lice!” Paolo agrees, bringing a round of pisco sours to the table. “How old were you?”

Alexis whacks Ted with the potholder before shaking it in his face. “Do not, Ted! I swear!”

“What? Were you an adult?” Naomi asks, gaping.

“We agreed we would never speak of that day again!”

“I’m sorry. It was a good day.” Alexis shoots him a glare, and Ted has to swallow a laugh. “Aside from the lice that were **bug** ing you.”

Alexis rolls her eyes and flounces to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting in it like she’s a queen. “Ted _may_ have shampooed my head and then combed the lice out.”

“Wow, combed the lice out?” Paolo observes, taking a sip from his drink. “That’s love.”

Ted freezes at the word love, and the air seems to disappear from his lungs. Of course it was love. Ted has loved Alexis for so long now, has never known how to stop. He loved Alexis when she broke off their engagement. He loved Alexis when he hired her for a job she wasn’t qualified for. He loved Alexis when she left the vet’s office to spread her wings. He loved her through lice and lunches with Heather and puppy adoptions. He’s loved her every day since he left Schitt’s Creek. 

Now she’s here, and his feelings haven’t gotten any smaller like he thought they might with time and distance. Instead, his feelings have grown and changed, and endured. 

Alexis laughs; Ted could swear it’s forced, even though it sounds normal. “Ted’s the best. He would have done it for anyone. That’s just the kind of guy he is.”

Except he wouldn’t have done it for anyone. Well, he might have, but he wouldn’t have enjoyed the process of picking nits with anyone other than Alexis. 

Ted forces his thoughts to clear as he carries the fish and the salsa to the table; he settles in for a communal meal, like usual. 

Ted can handle two weeks. Then things will go back to normal.


	3. Chapter 3 - Alexis

**Stream:**

**Download:** [mp3](https://archive.org/download/something-you-keep/Something%20You%20Keep%20Chapter%203%20.mp3) _(right click to save-as)_

“I didn’t!”

Alexis jolts awake, sitting up in her bed. In her dream, she’d been dealing with a very handsy, possessive royal when someone screamed in the background. Suddenly, another scream permeates the cabin, shrieking from outside. Her brain must have incorporated this awful sound into her dream. Vanti is still asleep in their bed; Alexis is glad that her bed remains furthest from the door. She didn’t even have to tell Vanti that she didn’t want to get murdered first. 

Murder is still on her mind as the screech continues outside her cabin. Whatever horrible death monster lingers outside could get inside. And then she would have to figure out what to do with it. Humans are much easier to deal with than wild creatures. Humans can be reasoned with, manipulated, outsmarted. Alexis doesn’t know what tricks to use with animals. 

The screaming cries continue, and Alexis fumbles for her phone in the dark. Her fingers tap out a staccato message. **Ted, I think someone is being murdered outside! What is that?🔪**

Alexis stares at her phone as the text goes from delivered to read until finally three dots appear in the bubble underneath.

 **It’s just a gull, Alexis. Nothing to worry about.** Ted sends back. Followed quickly by a gif of gulls from some cartoon movie on a rock. **There are no gull emojis. The best I could do.**

The gulls gif is comforting and silly. And very Ted. But then the shrieking starts up again, and Alexis types out a quick message. **It really sounds like something is dying.**

Her phone rings, and Ted’s face from years ago pops up on the screen. Alexis quickly swipes to accept and hisses in her best approximation of a whisper, “You can hear this?”

Ted’s laugh is warm and familiar. “Yes, Alexis. I can hear this.”

“Okay, Ted, how have you slept like this for the last three years? This is not fun.” In fact, this is awful. No wonder she was having troubled dreams of the old days.

“You get used to it.”

Alexis narrows her eyes in the dark. “Do you? Or do your eardrums just go numb? One time, when I had to play a game of ‘William Tell’ for my freedom from this mafia boss hiding out in Switzerland, and I lost my hearing firing a gun right next to my ear. I guess you could say I _got used to it_.”

“Sometimes a white noise machine or music can help. And you cannot tell me this bird is louder than New York City.”

How Ted sounds cheerful despite probably having been woken up in the middle of the night, Alexis doesn’t know. This is why he is a great person, and an even better boyfriend. Ted doesn’t yell because you disturb his sleep, or ask questions or threaten your life if you want to leave.

Alexis rolls her eyes, even though she knows that her facial expressions lose their effectiveness through the phone. “It’s different. This is quiet punctuated by shrieks. New York is never quiet. It’s just loud followed by louder.”

“You lived in Schitt’s Creek for years,” Ted argues back. 

“That was forever ago.” Alexis grabs the thin sheet, pulling it up to her chin. She curls onto her side, pressing one ear into the pillow and her phone to the other. “Could you just talk to me? Tell me a story about your research here. Like your most boring one. I’m sure I’ll fall asleep.”

Ted pauses, and Alexis worries that he’s going to say no and tell her to go to bed like a grown up. A breath crosses the distance through the phone, and then Ted starts speaking. Alexis can perfectly see the little smile that is on his face. “Okay, Alexis, just for tonight. So, a few months ago, we were out on Isabella Island and we were counting mangrove finches. And Tony is our tree guy. Anyway— ”

“Tree guy?”

“Yeah, he climbs up trees to check the nests. Anyway, we were hiking into the mangrove forests.”

Alexis wants to ask what mangroves are, but she doesn’t want to interrupt the story; she lets Ted continue in his sweet, rambly way where he assumes she knows things.

Alexis drifts off to the sound of Ted discussing hiking boots and bug spray and what exactly is involved in catching and tagging animals. The next thing Alexis knows, she’s waking up to sunlight streaming through her window and her phone on the pillow next to her. There’s a little line of text from Ted. **Sleep well. You’ll get used to it, I promise.**

Alexis smiles. He really is the sweetest guy. 

It’s not until she puts her feet on the floor that Alexis realizes that she’s alone in the room. A rhythmic buzzing starts against her hand, and Alexis remembers she’s holding her phone. She sees Vanti’s name and face pop up on her screen, their hair the teal color they’d had a few months ago.

“Hey,” Alexis answers, swiping clumsily, and trying to connect her brain.

Vanti’s voice is bright. Clearly they have been awake for a while. “Hey. Sorry, I just figured I’d catch a ride into the research center early, because I was up. This is your wake-up call.”

“Thanks. Thank you.” Alexis runs a hand through her hair. “How am I going to get to you?”

“We’re going to come pick you up. There’s an excursion they want us to go on.”

“Ooh, like a dolphin experience or 4-wheelers?” Alexis asks, feeling more awake.

“Hiking. Ted said to tell you think Friday Adventure, but no need to be sexy.”

“But I’m always sexy or what’s the point?” But Alexis gets it. This is not a date.This is business. They are working together again and Alexis has made it work before, for nearly a year. Okay, nearly nine months, but this is only two weeks. David was shocked she made it two weeks last time. She’s got this.

“I think he meant no heels.” Oh, that makes sense. Alexis frowns, thankful that she brought her boots along in the event that something like this happened. Unfortunately, they don’t accentuate her calves or her ass. They are decently junky, though, and at least they are still Chloe. 

Alexis is mentally cataloguing what she brought for an adventure date scenario when Vanti adds, “You have a half an hour.”

Alexis curses everyone, including herself, for this short turn around period. “Eurgh!! That’s not enough time.”

“I think you’ll survive. The Institute delayed it to let you sleep.”

Alexis wishes David were here, because he would know exactly how ridiculous a half hour is to expect someone to be ready. Like, really, really ridiculous. Alexis runs around like a Top Model Contestant trying to get the best bedroom in the house, pulling clothing out of her luggage. She somehow manages to get into a Sweaty Betty hiking outfit and arrange her hair into a cute side pony with the curls falling in a way that highlights her left boob.

The transport only needs to honk, like, five times before she comes out, which is not bad. One time she was three days late for the family trip to Ibiza. This was totally within the appropriate time period.

Alexis climbs into the back of the van and ends up seated next to Vanti.  
Ted grins at Vanti from the passenger seat and leans towards them, conspiratorially. “Told you. Give her a half an hour, show up an hour after you call and you only have to wait fifteen minutes.”

Vanti laughs like the traitor they are. Alexis calculatedly flips her hair before buckling her seatbelt. “I will have you know I am _very_ on time for events. They just usually happen at night when I have plenty of time and advanced notice.”

Ted and Vanti share a knowing look, and Alexis is aware that neither of them believe her. Largely because her definition of on-time is different from other people’s. Everyone knows that on time is at least thirty minutes late.

Ted just grins at them both. “I think this will be worth it.”

They drive to a private sanctuary and hike up to the rocky cliffs. Birds with blue feet play with each other across the dark rocks. Vanti takes out their sketchbook and gets to work drawing the birds and the views. Alexis just takes in the atmosphere. There’s a breeze coming off the water, and the sun is streaming down on the rocks. Vegetation is coming up through the cracks in the rough black stone. 

The tranquil scene is interrupted by Ted, “That is one boobie-licious mating dance.”

“Ted!” Alexis exclaims before figuring out what he’s talking about. She follows where his underhand index finger is pointing.

She looks, but the birds have no real boobs to speak of. Only one is dancing. The other is sitting with its legs and wings tucked in, pretending not to watch. “That’s kind of rude. And that bird has no boobs.”

“No, no, it’s their name! Those are blue-footed boobies.”

Alexis can see the blue feet of the one that’s dancing, but again, no breasts. “Who named them _boobies?”_

“It comes from the Spanish word bobo—or fool, because they’re clumsy on land.”

“Ahh.” Alexis sits and considers that explanation before tilting her head. “Bobo doesn’t sound like boobies though.”

“It doesn’t.” Silence stretches for a beat before Ted says, “Fun fact, blue-footed boobies do not mate for life, unlike most birds.”

Alexis tilts her head pensively. She’s not sure why their first outing is to see the Boobies. “I thought the main bird of the Galapagos was the finch.”

Ted frowns, brows furrowed. “Uh, there are a lot of finches. Darwin based a lot of his theory on them because they were very distinct on each island, but also because he could tell how they related to one another. I’m impressed at your level of research.”

Alexis flips her hands in small circles, palm up to palm down and back again as she explains. “Oh I didn’t— I mean I _did-_ do research. I just know that from a Galapagos-themed escape room.”

“You did a Galapagos-themed escape room?”

There’s something in Ted’s eyes that makes Alexis look down at her nails. They’re wide and bright and as usual they make her feel too many things. “Uh, yeah, not too long after you went back. Stevie booked it for David and Patrick’s bachelor party not knowing that it was Galapagos themed. I mean, David should have definitely let me plan the party. The Wobbly Elm isn’t, like, a good time, for anyone. Anyone could have rented a church hall and done a better job. I mean, Patrick’s birthday at Cafe Tropical was better. David planned that one.”

“How’d you do?”

Alexis isn’t sure that Ted actually wants to hear her plans for a bachelor party for her brothers. Still, she had great plans. “Oh, first, I would have papered the walls with the nudes Diplo still sends me.” 

Ted laughs, cutting her off. “No. No. I meant with-with the escape-the escape room”

“Oh, the escape room.” Alexis finishes with him, just half a beat behind. “Oh that was easy. I had us out of there in like half a minute once Dad told us about the deal he was setting up. Although David trying to blow the little sign thingies around was so funny. It was worth letting them struggle.”

Suddenly, a bird call grabs Alexis’s attention. Both of the boobies are up now, bowing deeply with their brown wings spread wide and heads tilted towards the sky. Then they straighten up, fold their wings in and nuzzle each other’s faces. Alexis giggles as one of the birds toddles off and comes back with a stick which he lays at the other bird’s feet. They both begin tapping their feet in unison, left, right left. Then they bow deep and call together. 

The three of them remain, watching the show, until one bird gets on the other bird’s back and— oh, that makes sense. Little bit of bird porn for her first full day in the Galapagos. 

The hike back is beautiful. The rocky terrain gives way to lush forest. The colors here are vibrant saturated hues. Deep verdant leaves mix with magenta flowers and birds of every color. 

Alexis follows behind Ted and Vanti. Roots and vines and leaves require carefully picked steps. There’s noise all around; it’s different than the constant noise of the concrete jungle she calls home. The leaves rustle in the gentle breezes. Animal calls traversing the space are met with the flapping of wings and crunching of branches and undergrowth. It’s more alive than any of the forests of Canada, where animals exist but not this freely or this loudly, or maybe it’s just because she feels so _free_.

When they make it back to the van, Alexis wonders how hard it is to get Galapagonian animals to Aspen and if the research center would lend her some plants and animals.

— 

The first few days take on a predictable pattern, Alexis and Vanti tour most of Santa Cruz Island and poke around the Research Center. They’re given a section of the library as an office, but they spend the majority of their time outside with the tortoises and the birds. Alexis hears more about flies and poop and something about, like, invasive versus something called enigmatic or something like that, than she ever needed to know. 

Today, though, the world is a magical place. The waves tumble into the shore in a muted roar, while Alexis stretches out on her delightfully fluffy towel. She stole it from a Sports Illustrated bathing suit shoot when she was seventeen and has kept it ever since. The sunlight warms her skin and sparkles off the water. The Galapagos isn’t the Maldives, or Ibiza or Monaco, but somehow being out on this small island without any major resorts is more satisfying than any of her previous see-and-be-seen experiences. 

The lack of paparazzi, fellow models, and socialites probably has a little to do with why she is enjoying it. Alexis isn’t particularly concerned about the way the wind blows her hair or the size of the other girls around her, or how she will look in the tabloids the next day. All Alexis needs to do is sit here and think of how she can draw from her experiences in the earlier hike and this beach excursion to develop her big premiere immersive experience. That, and post pictures to Instagram so Patrick can show David and make him jealous.

The rest of her enjoyment, she is pretty sure, has something to do with the very wet, well-toned man jogging up the beach towards her. Doesn’t matter how dorky his life vest and goggles are. He has a smile that eclipses the sun. Not that she has any right to think those things. He’s still a very, very cute man but she doesn’t...they’re just friends. They have been _just_ friends before. 

Everyone else who hiked out to the beach with them is still in the water. Alexis volunteered to watch their site early, a practiced move she’s been using for years to stay safely on dry land without being questioned.

“Hey!” Ted calls with a wave upon approach. “The bikini looks like it’s held together with more than just string.”

“Hey!”

The second he’s next to her, Ted shakes quite like a dog and removes his goggles, coating her in a fine layer of water. 

“Ugh! Ted!!”

His smile is goofy and shows no remorse. “Just cooling you off.” 

“Mmm,” Alexis murmurs, pressing her hat closer to her head. “This is a dry look.”

Ted stretches out on the towel next to hers. “Yeah? Kinda looks like one that would survive in the water.”

She’s thought about going in. The water on the Equator is warm and mostly clear despite the number of things living inside it. Alexis has been thinking that if she were ever going to go into open water, this might be the place to do it. The water back home is dark, and cloudy, and cold. Naomi had called her bathing suit a travesty, unfit for the hiking that typically precedes the swimming here on the Galapagos, and liable to fall apart on the way to the beach. She’d made Alexis buy new bathing suits the first chance they had. The new suit came in handy, lying flat under her clothes when she hiked out here, staying put and not falling down or riding up or coming untied. It’s still pretty cute, though.

Alexis doesn’t say all that. She just gives a shrug and a quick frown. “I just needed a change. It came highly recommended.”

“It looks nice; very **suit** able for the Galapagos. Here.”

Ted passes her the digital waterproof camera that he purchased before leaving for the program. Taking the camera, Alexis looks down at the images stored on it. On screen, small animals cut through the water, leaving streams of bubbles in their wake. 

“Ted, are these penguins?”

“Yup.” Ted flicks through and points at the screen. “See this one.”

One of the penguins has a fish in its mouth. The penguins in the zoo always seemed like smelly awkward things, but on the camera they are too cute. “Oh my god. Look at his teeny tiny flippers. And his itty bitty beak.”

She flips through a couple more photos and giggles at a seal that got right in Ted’s face with its mammalian antics. She also likes the look of the many fish swimming about in clusters. Flipping again, Alexis startles. “Ahh! Is that a shark!?”

Alexis tosses the camera back to Ted; he scans the image of the shark nonplussed, the same way he would a bunny. “Yeah. Isn’t it cool?”

“Ted, I don’t think sharks qualify as cool,” Alexis informs him, while combing through the ends of her hair. 

Ted does that smile that means he disagrees with her, and his head bobs slightly. “Of course they do. They’re one of the oldest creatures on the planet. There’s just some- **fin** special about them.”

Alexis giggles at yet another pun. The waves crash against the beach, bringing her attention back to the ocean. The little glimpses from the camera float in her head. “It looks really cool down there. Like a different world.”

For some reason, it calls up memories of David making her watch The Little Mermaid on repeat and calling her Ursula until she would shout back that if anyone was awful and ugly it was him. He would respond that she had to be Ursula because stealing someone’s voice was the only way she’d ever be able to sing. 

“If you want to see it, you can come out with me,” Ted offers quietly.

“Oh,” Alexis stares at the waves lapping at the beach rather than looking at his face. “I don’t know Ted. You know I don’t do open water.”

She doesn’t really do pools either. In a pinch she might go in the shallow end and sit on the steps. Hot tubs are really her preferred speed. Even then, she just sits on the edge and dips her feet in.

“I’d be right there with you.”

Alexis ducks her head slightly, but turns to look at Ted. “I don’t really swim.”

“Ok. Well, we can get you a life vest, and we never have to go past waist height. You just need to wear the goggles and put your face in and you can see in the water. It’s pretty clear, you can see a lot.”

Her feelings about the water are stupid. She knows how to talk herself through a military checkpoint, escape armed guards and drive 18-wheelers. Alexis has gone up against drug lords and dictators and Tyra Banks. There is no reason she should let something as commonplace as the ocean keep her from seeing cool, scary things. 

Alexis stares again at the water and then glances back at Ted. She could just say no out loud and he would drop it. Alexis knows that if she keeps hedging, Ted will keep offering ways to make her feel comfortable. One of the best things about Ted is that he has always genuinely cared about whether she was okay. 

So, instead of saying no, Alexis just says, “It’ll ruin my hair.”

Ted’s laugh is warm like the sunshine. “Alexis, you used to have that spray to make your hair look like it’s been at the beach; it had ‘Beach Hair’ written on it. I am pretty sure it was just salt water in a bottle.”

“You know what, _ok.”_ Alexis says, finally, staring the ocean down as she flips her hair back over her shoulder. “Ok, alright, I’ll do it.”

Alexis is rewarded with another amazing grin. “Cool. Be right back.”

The ocean eyes her like an old enemy. She takes in a breath and lets it out. She’s going to be fine. It is warm. It is sunny. They are along the shore; the rest of the team is already in the water. And, she has Ted, who is loping off toward the supply shed. 

_You won’t win,_ Alexis tells the ocean, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

Ted comes back with a life vest that is a very unflattering shade of orange. “Ted, this is _not_ cute.”

“It’s all they have. If you like going in the water, we can get you a cuter one later,” Ted promises. He reaches out and boops her nose. Alexis scrunches her nose but feels her own eyes soften. 

“I won’t be here long enough to buy my own.” 

Ted slips the vest over her shoulders as Alexis threads her arms through the holes and works to get her hair out from under the collar. 

“Arms up!” Ted instructs and, like a small child, Alexis follows directions while Ted fastens all the straps. 

The water is warm, and the sand is soft with only the occasional poke from a rock. Ted chatters at her about the volcanic rock and the animals as the waves lap first at her ankles and then at her shins, as she and Ted make their way further in. Ted has her hand tightly in his own, his fingers woven in-between hers, creating a solid unit. 

“How’re you doing? Are you **shore** you don’t **sea** the appeal yet?”

“Yes. I can see why people like this.”

And she can. There’s a predictability to the waves coming in around her legs. It’s warm, and it tickles a little. The waves sucking the sand out from underneath her feet and stealing it away as they retreat, is not her favorite. The ground is unsteady under her feet, and even though Alexis Rose is used to strutting in heels that make mere mortals cringe, she grips tighter onto Ted’s hand as they continue moving further in. 

A rogue wave breaks and sends water all the way up to her neck. Alexis pulls back, sputtering, and blinks to find Ted grinning at her. “It just wanted to **wave** hello.”

“Ted.”

“Look, the water is high enough now we can look through the mask. Just bend your knees.”

Ted is so patient and looking at her so earnestly, she can’t deny him this now that they’re here. Alexis bends her knees a fraction of an inch. Ted just raises one eyebrow; Alexis rolls her eyes. She drops down further and feels the weight of her body disappear as the vest and water work together to hold her up. She still hasn’t put her face in yet. Ted is carrying her mask. 

Ted grins broadly, proud of her. “See, the vest keeps you up. If anything is too scary, just lean back and it will keep your face out of the water. Ok?”

Alexis leans back and feels herself float, held up by the stupid, puffy orange thing around her body, the straps digging in a little. It feels secure though, like she doesn’t have to do anything really. Ted’s fingers are still firmly between hers, connecting them like a safety line.

“Now, we’re going to take the goggles and spit in them to prevent fogging.”

“Ewww! Ted, no!”

“Yup.” His grin is goofy and wide. “Do you want me to do yours or do you want to do it?”

“Ted. No!”

His eyes sparkle as he jokes back, “Ted, yes.”

In the end she lets Ted spit in her goggles,because it’s not like she hasn’t had his spit other places. He fits them over her face and the ponytail she made before getting into the water and secures them, slipping the mouthpiece into her mouth.

“Just breathe in and out through your mouth, not your nose.”

Alexis nods and leans forward, allowing the front of her face to submerge in the water. She takes an experimental breath through the tube in her mouth and is relieved when she gets a fresh breath of air. It’s unexpected, based on the strong opinions she acquired from her mother about mouth breathing, opinions that David never missed an opportunity to reinforce and drill into her over the years. However, it’s a relief that the tube works. 

Everything is different here under the water. The animals seem to float by as if they’re weightless. Alexis knows she should be scared, but with Ted it feels better. There are things that she’s never seen before, and she doesn’t have to touch anything. Not touching animals is a highlight. The penguins diving are very cute. Schools of shiny fish dart around like groups of schoolgirls at the mall, hunting for deals and dates. The waves gently cradle her, moving her body up and down as they roll past. She watches as the fish scatter when sea lions dart into the middle of them, but they come right back together. 

Everything happens so fast that Alexis cannot figure out what happened, but suddenly her mouth is full of salt, she feels a chill all over her, and someone is screaming. Alexis feels herself being lifted out of the water. She wraps her arms and legs tightly around someone she assumes is Ted and buries her head in his shoulder. The screaming has been replaced with sobs. 

There are people around asking what are probably questions but just sound like a jumble of words. Alexis can only really make out the sound of Ted’s terse _I don’t knows_. When he tries to set her down, she clings to Ted within an inch of her life.

“Alexis, please, I need to look at you.”

Alexis lets Ted pull away but he doesn’t go far. Steady hands roam over her body, and Alexis suddenly realizes that she’s the source of the crying. Ted’s voice sounds far away underneath the sound of her own tears. “What happened? Where does it hurt? I don’t see any blood. Alexis?”

She cannot answer him. The sobs won’t stop. Neither will the tremors that rack her body. Alexis wants to tell Ted that she honestly doesn’t know what went wrong. Everything was fine until somehow there was water in her mouth and she couldn’t breathe. Someone drapes a towel around her shoulders, and Ted rubs his hands over it, drying her off. 

“I think she’s in shock.” It sounds like Vanti.

“I don’t know what happened. We were in the water, looking down, and a wave crashed over us and the next thing I know Alexis is beside me sputtering and screaming,” she hears Ted say distantly. 

Alexis curls back into Ted, pulling him close, the towel wrapping as far around both of them as it can. She can feel his chest rise and fall against hers and tries to match her gasping breaths to his. 

The first words she manages are, “I just want to go home,” whispered into the freckled spot just behind his ear. His beard is scratchy against her face and it helps to ground her. Ted keeps her tightly in his embrace, and slides a hand underneath her knees and cradles her close. Alexis keeps her head burrowed and smells the salt and sunscreen that clings to his skin. It makes her feel grounded.

Ted’s voice is closer as he says, “I’m going to take her back.” She can feel the words rumble in his chest and throat before they emerge.

Someone who sounds like Naomi says, “Should we-“ 

“No. Stay here,” Ted insists, “I’ve got her.”

Alexis lets herself be carried back to the van. Ted climbs in the back with her and holds her the whole drive. She must fall asleep because it doesn’t feel that long before Ted is pulling her out of the van and bringing her to her cabin. He lifts her again; it’s been so long since anyone has really held her. Sure there’s been people, men mostly, but no one who was thoughtful, and sweet, and wanted more than just a fling.

He carries her straight into the bathroom, strips her out of her clothes, and gets to work washing her hair and her person. It’s not the first time they’ve shared a shower, but it’s the first time it’s ever been just for caretaking, and not sexual in any way. Ted’s hands are strong and sure, versus Alexis’s shaky hands that cling to his shoulders. His hands scrub in her hair, stroking her head, and Alexis is transported back to the vet's office when he took care of her lice. Tears slip down her face; Alexis is grateful for the stream of water covering her tears. 

When Ted’s done, he bundles Alexis in terry cloth, carefully wrapping her hair. He’s gentle as he wipes the moisture off her body and fastens the towel. Alexis staggers out of the bathroom while Ted dries himself down. She cautiously makes her way to the bed and sits, the springs sagging slightly. Ted comes out, toweling off his hair, sporting different shorts than the swimsuit he was wearing in the shower. Where did they come from?

Ted crosses the room and crouches in front of her, looking up to catch her eyes. “Hey, what do you want to wear?”

“Can you get me a sweater? Over there?” Alexis points at the dresser with its drawers slightly ajar and the arms of tops poking out of it. 

She wasn’t clear, because Ted comes back with her oversized, chunky off-white sweater that she used to wear to movie nights at Ted’s instead of the black mohair distressed one she stole from David before she left Canada. The sweater that she wanted to take with her because it always gave her comfort. This is nice, though, too, that he thinks to bring both the sweater and a cozy pair of leggings. 

“Do you want to use the bathroom to change? Or I can go into the bathroom? Or I can turn around?”

“Will you help? I—“ Alexis holds up shaky hands, a nonverbal admission that she isn’t sure she has the strength to dress herself.

“Uh—yeah. Sure.”

Just like with the vest, Ted takes the utmost care in helping her to dress, pulling the sweater over her head and feeding her arms through the sleeves. He puts her hands on his shoulders and bends down to help her into underwear and her leggings. When Ted finishes, she’s dressed in some of her coziest clothes but she still feels chilled.

Ted stands, and Alexis reaches out to take his hand. “Hold me?”

Ted looks down at their joined hands before looking back at her. “Alexis.”

“Please. I felt like I was going to drift away.”

His hand squeezes hers, tight and familiar. His voice is a rasp when he says, “I’ve got you.”

Alexis shimmies to the side and Ted crawls in. They curl up on the narrow bed, Alexis’s head pillowed against Ted’s chest. His arms are around her, and she plays with his chest hair. It’s like they’ve spun the clock backwards and could just as easily be at the Rosebud, the last time they shared a bed together. 

He rubs his hand up and down her arm, and she curls in tighter. His breath is warm against the crown of her head as he asks gently, “What was that Alexis? I have never seen—you’re usually—you’re brave and fearless and have fought monsters and pirates and corrupt governments.”

She traces a few more circles in his chest hair. “When I was little, I almost drowned. I wanted to go swimming at our house in the Hamptons and play The Little Mermaid with David as Ursula, and my cut-out of Jonathan Taylor Thomas as Prince Eric, but David wouldn’t. I went out myself and fell in the deep end.”

Ted’s hand stills on her arm. He breathes her name again, this time sounding even more heartbroken. “Alexis.”

She shrugs, not wanting him to be sad. It was a long time ago. Her fingers start tracing a pattern in his chest hair again. She tries to make her voice light and airy, like she usually does when she tells stories of her adventures to her family. People take things a lot easier when you make it sound easy. “David and Adelina found me, and I’m fine. I don’t even really remember it. I just don’t do open water.”

Ted sucks in a shaky breath. It’s still unsteady when he releases it. “I shouldn’t have—“

Alexis shakes her head vehemently. “No.” She could have said no, probably should have said no, but she’s tired of being afraid. “I wanted to. It was fun. Until it wasn’t.”

Ted presses a chaste kiss to her head. A choked feeling rises in Alexis’s throat; she swallows the sob that wants to break free. David’s the crier, not her. “I am glad you told me. Why don’t you get some sleep?”

Alexis nods against his chest. She’s tired now that the adrenaline is seeping out of her system. She feels like she just escaped a Bolivian checkpoint encounter gone awry. She sighs and snuggles in, squeezing Ted close. He squeezes back; she breathes, falling into a rhythm of deep, even inhales and exhales, before finally falling asleep.


	4. Chapter 4 - Ted

**Stream:**

**Download:** [mp3](https://archive.org/download/something-you-keep/Something%20You%20Keep%20Chapter%204.mp3) _(right click to save-as)_

Once Alexis is in deep sleep, Ted pulls slightly back. He watches her chest rise and fall. He has never loved the stories from Alexis’s pre-Schitt’s Creek days. Ted and Patrick used to have conversations about the tales that rolled off David and Alexis’s tongues like they were whimsical fodder for parties. A part of him wants to call Patrick and ask if he has heard this story. The image of tiny Alexis, nearly dead, and David finding her, leaves Ted shaken.

But calling Patrick would require letting go of Alexis to get his phone. As upsetting as everything at the beach was—still is—Ted is holding a live and warm Alexis in his arms. Her breath ghosts over his chest in deep, even motions. His fingers card through the damp strands of her hair. The sensation is almost enough to calm the sounds of her screams in his head, to silence their shocking turn into sobs.

Over the course of knowing Alexis, Ted has seen her sad, misty-eyed, and once he even saw a tear fall from her eye. He has never seen Alexis fall apart like she did today. Alexis is one of the strongest people he has ever known. She’s the kind of person who will try new things, who carries herself through life with nearly effortless grace. Ted has seen the cracks, but never a complete disintegration of her composure. 

Logically, he knows he should go back to his own cabin. Alexis is safe and asleep, and they’re nothing more than friends. Maybe not even that. It’s just that if she wakes up from a dream and is frightened, Ted doesn’t want her to be alone. Ted presses a kiss to the crown of her head and closes his eyes with her still curled against his chest.

The sounds of the door clicking and soft whispers rouse Ted from sleep. He blinks against the sunlight that falls across his face. It feels like it should be closer to midnight. Naomi and Vanti have entered the cabin. He blinks again, and realizes they’re holding hands. He wants to shift into a more comfortable position but he doesn’t want to wake the woman still sleeping on top of him.

Vanti drops Naomi’s hand and approaches the bed. “How is she doing?”

Ted glances down at Alexis’s sleepy head, her drying hair spread over his chest. “I think okay, I just didn't want her to wake alone in case…” 

Ted stops when his voice cracks. He doesn’t want her to be alone if she has a nightmare, if she wakes up afraid and trembling. He swallows against his own emotion, lodged like a piece of food in his throat. Once he’s convinced that he won’t fall apart, he looks up at the other two people in the room. 

Vanti gives him a very charming, lopsided smile, sitting on their own bed next to Alexis. “I have never seen her more than slightly disappointed.”

“She has hidden depths,” Ted responds, stroking a hand absently through her hair.

Vanti nods. “I know. I just don’t think she shows them that often.”

Ted feels suddenly too exposed. “I should go, now that you’re both here. She’ll probably sleep a bit longer.”

Ted extracts himself carefully from Alexis’s arms; she lets out a little murmur and snuffle as he puts her head back into the pillow, just like when he used to leave her in his bed to get ready for the day. That was so long ago, but the memory is still fresh. He gathers his things, avoiding the watchful eyes of Naomi and Vanti, and lets himself out, softly closing the door behind himself.

The sun has started to dip lower in the sky. It doesn’t take long for Ted to retrieve his snorkeling gear and camera from the van and put them away before it has set completely. His cabin is orderly, but Ted still takes the time to sweep and vacuum the floor before reorganizing his drawers. Cleaning usually helps to reorganize his mind and calm his feelings. But tonight, he still feels unsettled by the third time he’s gone over his files to make sure everything’s in the right place.

With nothing else in his room to distract himself, Ted pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to Patrick, because he can’t quite let Alexis’s story go. Then he makes his way down to the lodge.

“That’s it, that’s all,” Naomi’s voice carries as Ted pushes open the lodge door.

Footbaths and tabletop hairdryers, like travel versions of the ones in the salon his mom always went to, have taken over the lounge. It looks like a mini-spa. Ted suddenly has visions of the Thai resto-lounge that Alexis once described, with head massages served alongside the food. It is as unappealing as he thought it might be. Naomi and Alexis are each seated under hair dryers perched at the edges of one of the tables. Vanti has their feet in a footbath. 

“What do you think of this one?” Sara, one of the interns from Universidad Internacional del Ecuador, sits on the floor with a tub of bottles of nail polish on her lap. Her long, brown legs stretch out in front of her. She’s holding up a bottle full of an orangy-red liquid. 

“No,” Alexis answers loudly over the sound of the blowers. “That one washes you out. Try the purple, it’s called Play Date.”

Sara dives back into the box; the bottles rattle as she browses. As unappealing as spa treatments in the dining area are, it is nice to see Alexis in her element. Alexis rounding up a group of people and hosting a mini-relaxation event after her nap means that she’s doing okay.

“I see you’ve **re-porpoised** the space we plan to eat in.”

Alexis turns, popping up out of her hair dryer when she spots him. She crosses the floor in confident strides. “Ted! See! You thought I was ridiculous when I wanted to bring mine! Naomi brought hers!”

Ted releases a breath he didn't realize he’d been holding. She’s smiling and bubbly; large round curlers bob in her hair. Ted vividly remembers one of their many conversations three years ago where he tried to explain that this trip wasn’t going to be like her past island getaways, that she didn’t need an entire suitcase dedicated to beauty supplies. He really should have known that Alexis could make any situation work for her. 

“So I see. In the lounge though?” he asks, unable to skip the teasing. 

“This is the only place with enough power for all of us to do what needs to be done.” Alexis turns to the rest of the room with a conspiratorial grin. “He legit told me it wasn’t going to be that kind of trip. I should have known it wouldn't be just roughing it.”

Alexis has been a trouper. He’s not surprised. She’s run from drug cartels and dangled fearlessly from rope courses in the sky. But still, she’s never been the type to live without her phone attached to her or to go without her numerous products. As it was she showed up with more bags for a two-week stay than most of them did for months at a time. He realizes he’s frowning when Alexis blows out a breath and rolls her eyes affectionately.

“I can live without Uber, Ted. Not that we had those in Schitt’s Creek. Do you want a soothing face mask? We can get rid of this little sunburnt patch on your nose,” she teases him, reaching out and booping it softly. 

“I was going to make food. And it’s not a sunburn, it’s a tan,” he corrects her, rubbing at the slightly tender bridge of his nose. 

Alexis rolls her eyes at him, but her smile is bright. “Like, that’s how tans work. You can definitely get a sunburn under a tan.”

Ted realizes the sound of buzzing has stopped just as Naomi calls out, “I”m done, Alexis. How about you?’

Alexis turns to face Naomi, her curlers bouncing as she does. “I’m good. We s hould box these back up.” He watches her fingers swoop out in wide circles to indicate the blowers. 

Naomi waves them off before turning around to collapse the dryers. “I’ve got them. And Ted, there's a ton of leftovers from when Dave’s group did the cooking last night.”

Ted puts together a meal with a variety of leftover ingredients while the others finish various masks and nail polish treatments. Ted tries his best not to think about the number of dead-skin cells that probably lie all over the dining area after hair and feet were tended to. 

No one else seems to mind, though, and soon they are joined by Paolo and Elena. Everyone spreads and sprawls, and enjoys themselves, while having dinner. There is wine and pisco sours and beer. It’s exactly the kind of night they all needed after today. Ted tries not to hyper focus on Alexis, but their eyes keep catching across the room. At one point she mouths a sincere ‘thank you,’ and he’s not sure he deserves it. He was only doing what he had to do. This whole time she’s been here, the selfish part of Ted’s brain has been revising history—if only Alexis had booked the correct airline ticket three years ago.

Ted catches Alexis on her third yawn as the evening is winding down, and he offers to walk her back to her room. She slips her arm through his; the smell of her perfume curls inside his nose and settles like a cat who has found a particularly comfortable spot. It’s like home. 

The temperature has dropped off to a perfect 22°C, and a breeze keeps winding through the spaces between the buildings. Crickets chirp as the night sky darkens from a blue to purple color. The soft _chu-chu-chu_ of baby night herons calling for food can be heard every few minutes. The distant sound of waves adds a layer of calm as stars poke out of the night sky.

When they arrive in front of Alexis’s door, the glow from the outdoor cabin light falls on her hair, lighting it up like a halo. Ted’s breath catches in his throat, and he forces himself to move away.Alexis suddenly grabs his arm and leans in for a kiss. 

Ted stops, stutters, and lurches back right before her lips touch his. He holds her at arm's length. He exhales, trying to get himself under control. He chokes out, “Alexis. No,” his breath sounding harsh to his own ears.

She tilts her head and blinks at him. “It was just a friendly, adult kiss.”

What Ted really wants is to pull her back into his arms and kiss her until neither of them can breathe. If he’s being honest, that desire has been simmering since Alexis showed up here, but it grew when she used the phrase _friendly, adult kiss_ which took him right back to when Alexis passed her final exams for high school. Even with her here, he hasn’t realized his want for Alexis is even deeper than it was when they said goodbye at the Cafe Tropical.. It shocks him; he hasn’t known until this moment that he is more afraid than ever of letting her all the way into his heart again. “Alexis.”

Alexis frowns at his reaction, and dips her head; her fingers dance up his shirt. "I'm just saying if we have a—mmm…” Her eyes narrow as she considers. They’re still thin slits when she says, “Adult itch, why can't we give it an adult scratch? Like a very casual, friendly adult scratch." She flutters her eyes in slow, suggestive blinks. 

It’s an old and practiced move, but all Ted can manage to say is, “Alexis.”

“Ted!” she cries, stomping her foot.

“I can’t.” 

“You can’t tell me you haven’t scratched an itch while you’ve been here.”

“You’re not an itch, Alexis.”

She tosses her hair, her eyes falling softly closed like a leaf fluttering to the jungle floor. “Yeah, I know. Itches are annoying.”

Ted frowns deeper, trying to figure out how to say what he needs to tell her without making it worse, for either of them. “You’re not some woman I am going to have sex with and forget about.”

“Well, I would like to think I am not very forgettable.”

Ted scrubs both of his hands over his face. “You’re not.”

“Ted?” she asks, sounding vulnerable. 

He drops his hands from his face and spreads them wide. He didn’t want to have this conversation, but now they’re here. “You’re going to leave and go back to your life in New York and I’m going to stay here, and it’s been hard enough having you here.”

“Hard?” Alexis’s eyes go wide and wounded. He’s hurt her; it’s not what he wanted at all.

Now his hands comb through his hair with frustration. From the minute Alexis arrived, he’s been living out the numerous dreams he’s had since he left her in Schitt’s Creek, and when she leaves he’ll wake up. Just like all the other times, it will be devastating. He knows this; the truth of it is inescapable. 

“It’s not that I can’t live without you. I can. You can live without me. It’s fine.” He’s been fine. This job has been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. “It’s just this period of readjustment to having you here, and knowing you’re going to go and that I am going to let you do it again.”

Her frown is deep and her aqua eyes are wide, and he wants to cradle her like he did at the beach. “You left last time.”

“I know. And it was the right thing. But that doesn’t mean I was over it, was over you. When you go, I am going to have to get used to loving you alone all over again.”

“Sooooo,” Alexis stretches out, her eyes narrowing again, “I’m just saying, that, while we’re here we can choose to have this.” She pauses, and when he doesn’t respond Alexis clarifies, “By _this_ I mean _sex.”_

“Sex was never our problem,” Ted reminds her.

“Space was. And time. _And,_ initially, me not knowing that what we had was love the first time we were together, because I didn’t know _what_ love looked like. But we’re _here, together.”_

“Alexis.”

She purses her lips, sucking them in between her teeth before breathing out in a long sigh. “Okay. The thing is, Ted, it is going to hurt when I get on the plane, but it also hurts now. It doesn’t have to hurt now.”

“I know it hurts now, but if we do _this_ and it stops hurting, it’s going to be so much worse when you go.”

Ted leans in and presses a kiss to Alexis’s forehead. “Goodnight, Alexis.”

It takes all his willpower to let go of her shoulders and step away. He turns and heads back to his cabin in a fog of memories and regrets. He undresses and heads to bed, restless and unsure if he’s made the right call. The doubts plague him. Kissing Alexis would have been easy. Sex with her would have been amazing. He reaches under the blankets, into his boxers, replaying and releasing the images that have danced in his mind since Alexis tried to kiss him with every stroke of his hand.

— 

Ted spends every minute of the next two days second guessing himself and avoiding Alexis. Part of him wishes he had taken her up on the offer, but he doesn’t know what to do with his feelings as it is, even without complicating them futher with sex. He didn’t lie to her. Sex has never been their problem. The problem is what to do with the fact that their ambitions pull them apart. Thankfully, Alexis avoids him right back.

He’s run out of ways to avoid her, when Alexis and Vanti join him and the rest of the team on a trip out to some of the eastern islands. The research boat they use isn’t tiny, but it’s definitely not big enough to actively avoid someone. There’s one galley, a few small cabins, and workstations consuming most of the space. He knows that the Darwin Centre for Research wants the InterFlix team to get a feel for the wide scope of research they do, so it’s not entirely a surprise when Alexis and Vanti show up for the four-day trip, Vanti with their one small wheeled suitcase and Alexis with two larger wheeled suitcases and a large weekender bag. 

For someone who has panic attacks in open water, Alexis takes to the expeditionary ship like a duck to, well, water. Alexis immediately stows her bags and begins exploring. She winds her way through different cabins, to the galley and then to the bridge where he spots her through the window chatting merrily with the captain, her hands an expressive flurry. 

When she finds the rest of the group by the bow of the boat, Paolo quips, “You’re impressively calm considering the rough waters we were in earlier.” 

Alexis just waves her hand and floats into a seated position, like a leaf gracefully landing on a forest floor. “Do you know how much it takes for a boat to sink? Also you have an appropriate number of lifeboats for this yacht. Once, I was in the Indian Ocean, close to Indonesia when we were overtaken by pirates, which was totally different from when I was taken hostage for a week by Somali pirates on David Geffen’s yacht. The people I was traveling with had subtracted several lifeboats to be able to hold more cargo, but we were still able to limp into port with a huge hole in the side.” She chuckles. “I think we’ll be okay.”

“Ahh,” Paolo agrees, as if that makes any sense to him.

Paolo, Naomi and Sara all send wide eyes his and Vanti’s way. Ted just shrugs and shakes his head. They’ve barely scratched the surface when it comes to Alexis’s adventures. It’s a miracle she’s alive. Alexis appears unconcerned at least, as she takes off to ingratiate herself with the crew, speaking Spanish quite easily. Ted still isn’t sure how many languages she knows. 

They head towards Isla Santa Fe. Naomi has enlisted Sara as her assistant to check on the island flora and how the work battling the invasive species is going. Ted and Paolo will check on the island’s Galápagos Penguin colonies. 

Thankfully, when they arrive two hours later, the sunbathing sea lions have left enough room on the beach to take the dinghy in. The disembarking team members stow their belongings in the small, inflated motor boat and climb in. Ted watches Alexis as they cruise toward the beach, concerned with their proximity to the water, but she’s just as happy in the low boat as she was on the yacht. 

Alexis alights from the inflatable craft like a princess, appearing perfectly content to be along on this trip. She’s fascinated and horrified by the large “ocean dogs” that line the beach who mostly ignore the human visitors. Ted tries not to stare, but he can’t help stealing glances. Her laughter wraps around him as she watches Sally Lightfoot crabs scurry over rocks.

He tells himself he’s grateful when she heads off with Vanti, Naomi, and Sara. It will be better if he’s not distracted while they catch and tag penguins. He tells himself not to focus on where she is or what she’s doing, or if things are too hard for her. She’s fine, he reminds himself repeatedly, as he spends the day trying not to slip on the guano from penguins and other seabirds that covers the rocks. 

The Galapagos Penguins are the rarest of penguins, becoming scarcer every year as the ocean temperatures rise. He recognizes several individuals from previous years; they only need to be weighed and measured after their foot tag is scanned. New penguins are weighed and measured as well, and Ted and Paolo add little tags to their feet like large earrings. Ted frowns while he thinks. _Feetrings. Feetbobs._

It’s particularly unfair that Alexis looks bright and sunny in her shorts and hiking boots, braid wrapped over her shoulder, laughing as her group returns from their excursion. The sea lions are starting to crowd the beach, most of them sunning, when it’s finally time to take the dinghy back to their research yacht. 

The sun is setting as they make their way across the bay’s gentle waves. Sea lions follow them out, like sentries, bobbing along with them. The island-goers scatter to shower and change while they weigh anchor. Ted stops at a computer station to enter the data from his and Paolo’s penguin research, then he heads to the galley for dinner, where he tries in vain not to watch Alexis eat the fresh meal of fish and rice. 

Later that night, unable to sleep, Ted slips from his cabin and wanders onto the deck. The wind blows gently and the waves lap against the hull of the ship. They have dropped anchor not far from Isla de San Cristobal. 

Ted glances up as he heads toward the bow. The sky was odd to him when he first arrived in Ecuador. He could always see plenty of stars in Schitt’s Creek, but here, close to the equator, the sky looks vastly different. The big dipper lights up the sky, like an old friend, but so does the southern cross. When he first got here, nothing seemed to be where it belonged. Back home, the stars were a map he knew, and then they had been shaken and retossed. Finally now, years later, this night sky has become familiar. Ted worries when he goes home, the Canadian sky will be a stranger once again.

He’s not alone when he arrives on the bow of the boat. Alexis is sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, a blanket around her shoulders. Ted has forgotten how Alexis looks when she’s still. Most people know Alexis as a whirlwind of frenetic energy, filling up any space with noise and motion. The quiet Alexis is harder to come by. Some people mistake her quiet moments for sadness, but tonight, under the stars, she doesn’t look sad, just at peace.

The breeze catches her hair and flutters it in the wind. She turns and spies him before he can slip away unnoticed.

Ted stumbles back, having been caught watching. “I uh...I’m sorry. I don’t want to disturb you. I’ll just—” His thumb points away from her over his shoulder. 

Alexis’s smile is as serene as her body. “No. Stay. We worked together for almost a year _after_ we were broken up. We can sit under the stars.”

It’s tempting to take her up on her offer, but he came out to the bow because he did not want to be around people. Alexis Rose is the person Ted’s been actively avoiding. Now, the reason he can't sleep is inviting him to stay up. Maybe it will help. It can’t be much worse. “I did take an extended trip to Mexico before we got there,” he reminds her, taking a seat two over from hers.

“Well, you have taken an extended trip to Ecuador and now we’re here,” Alexis counters, pulling the blanket around her. 

Ted supposes she’s right, but in Mexico, Ted found the strength to let her go because Alexis didn’t love him. The last time, he knew she loved him, and he forced himself to move on by reminding himself that Alexis would never show up here to test his resolve. Except, now she has. He rubs his palms over his shorts and just says, “I suppose that’s true.”

Alexis turns back to look up to the sky. “I forgot how much I like the sky on the equator. It’s not like anywhere else. I mean, the sky isn’t really the same anywhere. But I haven’t been this far south in forever. 2013 was when I was sailing the Indian Ocean with Mike Cannon-Brookes on our way to Australia, I think. I helped him meet Elon Musk.”

“Ahh.”

Alexis drops her chin to her knees. “It’s not home though.”

Ted follows her eyes to where the moon sits, a silver crescent amongst the stars. “I always think of that Sesame Street song, ‘If I could visit the moon.’ How it’s nice to see other places, but you miss all the places and people you love.”

“Are you thinking of coming home?” Alexis asks.

He doesn’t look at her as he confesses, “They’ve offered me an extension. Another two years.”

“What are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know. This has been such a wonderful experience. I’ve learned so much and it’s been a dream. But also, I have thought about going home. Mom wants to marry Bill, and I kinda miss the average dogs and cats.”

Alexis laughs, bright and clear like the night sky. “ _No one_ misses squeezing anal glands, Ted.”

Ted just shrugs. “I spent most of today slipping over guano, so, you know, different day, same **shit.** ”

“Most people never see the sky like this,” she interrupts. When he looks at her, she points, “All these stars.”

“You can see it way up north. My uncle moved up to the Northwest Territories. We used to go for the summer sometimes when I was a kid, my mother and me. The sky looks like this. I mean not like this, the stars are different and you can see the Northern Lights.”

“That’s really sweet. Last time I saw the Northern Lights was on a detour through Iceland,” Alexis says, tilting her head so her ear rests on her knees.

“I would like to go there one day. The biodiversity in Iceland due to the volcanoes and hot springs is supposed to be amazing.”

“We mostly got very drunk on Brennivín and partied in Reykjavik. We did go out of the city once, and we got to see the glaciers as well as the Northern Lights. Richard Madden said the deep aqua of the glacier matched my eyes.”

“It does.”

As the night wears on, they run out of stories and the sleep that’s been eluding Ted creeps over him. Alexis catches the yawn that escapes him, and giggles, covering her mouth.

Ted can’t help but fall a little bit further in love with her. He doesn’t let on though, “I suppose we should head to bed, early morning tomorrow.”

Alexis nods her agreement, yawning again. “I’ll see you, Ted. Goodnight.”

Ted watches her walk back toward the ship’s cabins. He follows not far behind, his hands in his pockets, and crawls into bed. 

The next morning, they drop anchor in the shadow of Leon Dormido between its cliff walls, hard edges of solid rock plunging into the ocean. The massive wedge of a volcanic tuff cone has been weathered over the years, making it look like a sea lion or a boot. Frigate birds, swallow-tailed gulls and red-footed boobies circle overhead. Their screeching and fighting assault the team members’ ears. And then of course, there’s the smell.

Alexis wanders out onto the deck and pinches her nose, waving at the air. “Ew, Ted. What _is_ this?”

Ted pokes his thumb over his shoulder toward the island that stretches over 40 stories above their heads. “ _This_ is one **rock** in’ island.”

“Ted! Not the rock! The smell!!!” Alexis insists, dragging out the word smell into at least three syllables. 

Ted turns to look at the cliff with her. He points up at the top of the ridge, where it looks like white paint is dripping down the rocks. “See the white up there?”

Alexis nods, but her eyes are wary.

Ted just grins, angling his head to the side. “Bird poop. They nest, eat, fight and poop up there.”

“Ewwwww!” Alexis calls out, loud and long. It’s followed by the staccato beat of a round of, “Ew, ew, ew, ew.”

Alexis throws her head back, closes her eyes, frowns deeply and sighs. She still seems horribly grumpy when she looks back at him. “Where can one go to avoid the smell?”

“Best place to be is in the water,” Ted answers honestly, and quickly corrects as he sees the fear spring into her eyes, “but you can go hang out in your cabin, or the galley. Shouldn’t be bad there.”

“I think I will. I can always do some work anyway.”

Alexis flounces back to her cabin, waving the smell away as she goes. Vanti comes out, though, and joins the research team to snorkel. The team is given a quick reminder round of safety protocols, what to do in the event of a crisis, and hand signals for communicating underwater. Everyone jokes about the smell and the birds as they put on flippers, goggles, and inflatable swim vests, before flipping off the edge of the boat and into the water.

The water at the base of Leon Dormido is a little murky, and cooler than in any of the bays of the major islands. Adolescent green sea turtles swim underneath them. Vanti swims alongside Naomi through the channel between the split sections of rock. Ted grabs a picture of the sea turtles for Alexis. She was so excited by the penguins, he’s sure she’ll like the sea turtles too. 

When Ted heads through the channel, two sea lions spin by. Ted takes some pictures of the pair, as they spiral around each other in their game of tag. He catches up to Naomi and Vanti, and finds them hovering over a school of about 20 black-tipped reef sharks cruising fifteen meters down. 

Ted takes the time to adjust the camera setting to record the school swimming in unison through the cloudy water. They’re calm and peaceful. The truth is sharks rarely look like what everyone worries they will, wild things with their eyes rolled back. They’re not in a frenzy, just very calm cruisers.

He’s been snorkeling for about a half an hour when his calf starts burning. Ted glances back and sees a gelatinous shape floating behind him. A few small jellies are making their way toward him. Ted has floated far enough around the side of the rock that swimming the rest of the way will get him to the boat faster than going back the way he came. 

Outswimming the cloud of jellyfish is easy. Making it all the way back to the boat, though, is a struggle. On a normal day, Ted can swim effortlessly for over an hour. Today, he feels like he’s swimming through molasses. His stung calf is only a quarter as effective as usual, so he closes the distance at a glacial pace. Soon, his arms start feeling fatigued from pulling his weight through the water.

When he gets back to the yacht, Ted forces his spaghetti arms to pull himself up the ladder and onto the boat. He’s breathing hard by the time he hits the deck, and his calf feels like it was struck with a cattle prod. Ernesto, one of the crew members, comes over to check on him, his thick eyebrows pulling together in a frown, wrinkles forming on his warm brown brow. 

Ted barks out, “Jellyfish,” and Ernesto rushes off to retrieve the vinegar solution used to soak jelly stings.

Only non-deadly jellies inhabit these cooler waters, but their sting still burns terribly. When Ernesto returns from the cabin moments later, Alexis comes bustling out with him. She’s by Ted’s side in a second.

She crouches beside him as Ernesto hands him the vinegar solution. “Ted! Oh my god! What happened?”

Ted examines the back of his leg before pouring the vinegar solution over his calf and covering it with a vinegar-soaked towel. “It’s just a jellyfish sting.”

“Just a jellyfish sting! That’s not— Ted,” Alexis says, tapping him gently on the arm, “Those are dangerous.”

Ted manages a tired smile for her. Her hands begin to pick at each other, worrying. “These were just little guys. There’s a couple little lines, but I outswam them. Hopefully they didn’t surprise anyone else.”

Alexis nods, but her eyebrows draw closer together in concern. “You should go to your room. Here, let me help.”

Alexis quickly divests him of his flippers, goggles and vest. She tapes the vinegar compress to the back of his leg with the efficient strokes you’d expect of someone who’s spent a considerable amount of time bandaging wounds. Then she helps him to his feet, and arranges herself under the arm on his injured side like a crutch. “You ready?”

“Okay.” Ted limps along beside her, ducking into the boat. “In half an hour, we’re going to need to make sure I don’t have any bits of tentacle left in me and then soak the sting in warm water.”

Alexis frowns, walking with him. “How do you remove the tentacles?”

“Credit cards will usually work. If we need to, maybe tweezers. It’s not my first time with a jellyfish sting.”

“What size?” Alexis asks crisply. 

“Hmm?” Ted asks, wondering if she wants to know about the size of his previous stings.

“What size tweezers?” Alexis asks again.

“The smallest you have.”

“Got it. Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Alexis sets him up on his desk chair and props his leg up on the edge of the bed, so there’s no weight bearing on his leg. “Are you cold? Let me grab you a towel.”

Alexis bustles into his tiny bathroom and grabs his towel. She returns and expertly dries him off. “What else do we need? Pain meds?”

“Yeah, those would work.”

Alexis excuses herself from Ted’s cabin, this time returning with her purse. She hands him two pain pills. “These are the good ones, with codeine.” She pulls out a bottle of water and twists it open, handing that over, too. 

“I still have my old gold card. It will be perfect for tentacle removing and I have my Tweezerman fine tip tweezers. Most accurate pair I have ever had.”

“I’m sure they’re very on **point.”**

“You must be fine if you’re making puns.”

They trade memories and jokes while they wait for the vinegar solution to work its magic. Alexis removes the compress and washes the sting carefully with a washcloth. She taps on her phone flashlight and then deftly scrapes off the remaining tentacles with her credit card . For some reason that only makes sense to Alexis, she also has a jeweler's loupe in her purse that she uses alongside her flashlight to make sure no fragments are left. While she works, she regales Ted with a story about a Coachella disaster with a cactus and a girl named Klair, and about sewing up some boy after he’d had his kidney removed. Alexis has lived more lives than any other human being Ted has ever known.

Then she chivvies him into the shower, with the water on hot. “No soap on your calf,” she orders, before closing him in.

Ted washes the rest of his body and lets the hot water soak into his calf to pull out any toxins that may still be inside him. 

He exits the bathroom with one towel wrapped around his waist, and another in his hand, scrubbing his hair. Ted startles to a stop upon seeing Alexis still in his cabin. 

“I just, um…” Alexis fidgets, blinks and then stares wide eyed. “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. You know, because you were hurt.”

Ted tries a smile, but he’s tired and all he wants is Alexis in his arms, even if that is a bad idea. “I’m okay. Thank you for staying. You didn’t have to.”

“Well, now that you’re okay, I’ll... just. Go.”

Her hand is on the doorknob when Ted says, “Alexis, wait.”

Alexis turns, looking at him with doe eyes. “Yes?”

“Just this,” Ted says, crossing the room to her.

Ted takes Alexis’s face in his hands and presses his lips to hers. Alexis’s mouth opens like a flower and their tongues mingle. She’s sweet and warm and tastes just as good as he remembers. Ted knows better than to expect anything to be as good as he remembers. But, Alexis _is_ , and now her hands are on his back, nails biting into his skin.

“Ted, what about—”

“You were right,” he tells her, his breath coming out harshly. “It doesn’t have to hurt now.”

“What are you saying?”

His thumb rubs over the satin skin of her cheek. Her eyes are bright. “I love you, Alexis. I always have. I always will. We’ve been given a gift. Maybe... we shouldn’t waste it.”

The towel falls away as their hands rediscover each other. Ted strips Alexis of her clothes, and they fall onto his narrow bed. She’s all of the fantasies Ted has envisioned over the last six years, and he’s not sure how he’s going to let her go again. The thought of asking her to stay in the Galapagos crosses his mind, but then Alexis’s lips are sucking his nipple and all his thoughts melt away as he arches into her. 

Ted flips her over and begins traversing the mountains and valleys of her body. Everything is different now, and yet nothing has changed. He still knows the spots that make her keen loudly, begging for more. He knows the spots that make her writhe and sigh. Ted knows how to send Alexis over the edge with just his hands and how to grab a condom while they are still in the throes of passion and pass it to her to roll onto him with nimble fingers, before he finds himself entirely surrounded by her.

When he comes, he knows he cries her name. It’s reverberating in his head as she squeezes around him. When he can hear over the rushing of blood in his ears, he hears his name on a whispered repeat like a prayer. “Ted, Ted, Ted.”

When he has words again, Ted manages to breathe out a tremulous, “Wow.”

Alexis giggles, pressing a kiss to his neck, nibbling a little. An aftershock runs through Ted, and he pulls her in tighter. “I know, right,” she breathes.

“Thank you,” Ted whispers against her hair.

She rolls off of him and quickly disposes of the condom. “We should shower.”

“Good idea. Just give me a minute to get my legs back; they feel like **jelly.”**

— 

After they get back from the science expedition, Alexis spends every remaining night in Ted’s cabin. For three days, it’s easy and simple and fun. Alexis is here for work but she’s also here with him. They test out every surface in his cabin, including the sink, which does not break. Alexis jokes about texting a picture to David. At least Ted hopes it’s a joke. 

The last dinner everyone has with Alexis and Vanti is full of humor and lightheartedness with the whole team looking forward to the documentary screening in two months. Alexis has been just about everywhere, and with everyone. 

She’s done research into the different people of the Galapagos. She’s seen the various wildlife from the marine iguanas who alternate between diving and sunning, to the sea turtles like Maria who lay their eggs on the beaches, to the finches that populate all the islands. Ted has watched her spend time with Naomi to learn about the different plants that exist across the island. She and Vanti have enmeshed themselves so deeply into the group, Ted won’t be surprised if they have to raffle tickets to sit in the van that will take them back to the airport.

When Ted and Alexis finally leave dinner, they take their time making their way to his cabin. The breeze is soft and the crickets sing a hopeful song. Alexis spots the southern cross and the big dipper in the sky. Ted is brimming with things he needs to say. 

Alexis puts a finger to his lips before he has time to bubble over and says, “Mmm, babe, we can talk tomorrow. Right now, I think we should just go be together.”

Ted takes in her blinking and the careful trails of her fingertips along his shoulders. It’s like deja vu, but instead of her motel room it’s his cabin. “Tomorrow,” he agrees.

Ted scoops her up, and Alexis squeals, giggling as he carries her over to the bed and drops her. She bounces, grinning up at him with a smile that could eclipse the sun. Alexis’s arms reach out wide, and Ted is within them seconds later.

Everything between them is languid and warm. They’re nearly weightless as they explore each other, even though the awareness of Alexis leaving the next day looms over them. A million different feelings well up inside Ted, and he wonders if he has it in him not to follow her onto the plane tomorrow. How many times will they end up saying their goodbyes? He drifts off to sleep with her in his arms.

When the morning sun begins to break through the cracks in the curtains, Ted turns over, drawn by the scent of Alexis.. But he finds the bed empty; a hastily written note rests on the pillow where her hair should spread. Ted’s hands shake and his heart stops as he opens it, and her business card flutters out. _I had to go. I’ll see you in a few weeks. Also, on your layover in LA, drop in on the Tom Ford store and hand them my card. ~Alexis_


	5. Chapter 5 - Alexis

**Stream:**

**Download:** [mp3](https://archive.org/download/something-you-keep/Something%20You%20Keep%20Chapter%205.mp3) _(right click to save-as)_

Leaving the Galapagos is harder than Alexis thought it would be. Even though it’s relatively easy to return to regular WiFi, coffee shops on every corner, and a dedicated manicurist. And, her tiny apartment is not horrible. Nor is the mattress that she bought after scraping money together from her second InterFlix contract. The conveniences of home are reassuring. It’s nice to be here. Everything is nearly perfect. There’s just one little problem.

This ache. It started when she looked around the dinner table at the assembled staff and volunteers that last night in the Galapagos. The ache hasn’t flagged since. Not across three flights, two hemispheres, or in the three days since she’s been back in New York. It wasn’t relieved by the tears that slipped unbidden past the sunglasses she wore all the way home. Stopping in Quito to check out some of the galleries and speaking to artists, resourcing for the immersive experiences, only made her miss the islands more. She should have said something to Ted; Alexis knows this. But she also knows: she had a mission to accomplish, and if she’d woken up with him and had to actually say goodbye, Alexis wouldn’t have left. 

Alexis throws herself into the work. She reviews and sorts her photographs: the youngest ever retired turtle, Diego; the sea turtles laying their eggs; the frigatebirds—who should be called _boobies_ with their big red inflatable pouches; the _actual boobies_ with their silly dances and calls. Ted had unequivocally denied her request to use any live island animals in the promotion. So did everyone else that she came into contact with. Alexis tried zoos, but none of them wanted their animals or birds to be part of an _immersive experience_. And Doc Antle was banned from making guest appearances and animal presentations after the Tiger Regent documentary made a splash on InterFlix.

Alexis writes and circles her mother’s name. If she has to, she can see if Mom knows anyone with contacts for renting exotic animals. Or Dad, really. He got those camels for Mom’s fortieth birthday somehow. Alexis adds the word quarantine to her list of animals. She’ll have to figure out ways to keep tropical wildlife warm in Aspen, though. 

Even if she can procure live animals, she wants more than that to complete the immersive experience. She brainstorms other ideas. Alexis won’t soon forget the smell of Leon Dormido, but it’s not something she wants to recreate for the premiere or put anyone else through, if she can help it. Maybe she can replicate some of the fragrances from the native plants Naomi is working to repopulate. 

As she contemplates, her sense memory brings her back to the many trips through the streets of downtown Puerto Ayora, curving down Avenida Charles Darwin. Amidst the tourist shops and restaurants, art galleries dotted the space. There were some wonderful pieces in each of them. If she can’t bring the animals and plants of the Galapagos to Aspen, she _could_ get some local Ecuadorian artists to exhibit their art. Alexis envisions a variety of different options: artist recreations of iconic landforms, or of some of the main species. Maybe a sculpture artist will want to make something...

Suddenly Alexis is an unstoppable force, overflowing with ideas. Fortunately she has Vanti, who never fails to distill Alexis’ flashes of inspiration into something succinct and articulate that will impress Interflix’s clients. Alexis perches on the edge of Vanti’s desk, reading slowly over their shoulder while Vanti types up the call for artist bids. She’s mostly mouthing the words as Vanti adds them, like “immersive” and “unique” and “photogenic.” They focus on getting the right pitch across in their call for local artists, a selection of names they’d shortlisted together. 

Vanti rolls their chair back slightly, “Alright, what do you think?”

Alexis skims the Word document again, blinking. Her lips transition into duck lips and back while she makes sense of it. She thinks she’s mostly got it, but she isn’t quite sure it gets the point across completely. “Okay, but like, the key thing is we want people to feel like they’re _in_ the Galapagos. Like they’re immersed.”

“So we’ve noted,” Vanti says, dryly.

Alexis sighs, her shoulders and arms sagging in tandem. Her hands begin moving again. “I know, but, this is like a huge opportunity, and part of the fest is the promotional art and InterFlix chose _us_ for an immersive experience.”

Vanti keeps an eye roll to themself, but Alexis can hear the frustration in their voice. “Yes. Which is why we’ve asked for a digital mark up of their idea, a detailed proposal with our budget, and a portfolio of previous work. Alexis, we’ve got this.”

Alexis nods, flicking at her hair with her hands. “Yeah, Yeah. You’re right, you’re right.”

— 

Vanti and Alexis comb through the proposals as they roll in. One catches both of their eyes —  
a whole floor-wall-ceiling installation recreating [“Carrying the Bells,”](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1f/7d/99/1f7d9994555ea75d3d62caead43356b4.jpg) Gonzalo Endara’s 1994 addition to the “El Tren Volador” series. In the painting, deep teal mountains dappled with bright yellow rise and fall across the canvas. White houses with terracotta roofs roll right along with them. A bright blue horse pulls at a bell that has fallen from a blue train. The bidding artist, Lucía Alvarez, has proposed a recreation of this artwork, by way of a vertical installation of plants native to Colorado for the living parts, and raw materials like shells, twigs, sand, stone and other non-invasive natural materials from Ecuador and the Galapagos, emphasizing the _genius loci_ of both places to complete the image. 

Alexis can envision the whole tableau and after some cursory research, she determines that no one has done anything like it yet. It’s perfect.

Vanti blows out a breath and shoots a look Alexis’s way, tapping the print-out of the bid. “This is going to be an interesting piece to get through customs.”

“That’s why they pitched using plants native to Colorado,” Alexis flops her wrists inwards so that her fingers tent in a loose approximation of a bridge-shape, “a bridge between the location of NatureFest and the location of the film.”

Vanti smiles crookedly, then squares their shoulders and turns to face the computer. They pull up a spreadsheet and begin typing. “Alright, we’ll need shipping costs for the pre-made pieces, a warehouse space for storage and construction, and Colorado vendors for the local plants. We should book out the hotel and transportation at least a week prior to the event.”

“Excellent. Let’s get started. Add in assignments as we go,” Alexis says, excitement bubbling under her skin. 

The excitement continues even after the proposal is sent to InterFlix and the jobs are doled out. Alexis cannot wait for this event. Hours are spent connecting vendors, finding catering, blocking out hotel rooms. She works tirelessly, putting in extra time with Vanti to make a digital model of the size and shape of the red carpet and the function area. Together, they work out where exactly the _genius loci_ installation will go on the carpet, based on the specifications received from Lucía. Every last detail is arranged, tweets are tweeted, instagrams are grammed, and invitations are mailed out.

— 

The weeks fly by, and before Alexis knows it, their plane is touching down in Aspen. 

With their luggage shipped off to the hotel, Alexis and Vanti take a car to the warehouse where Lucìa and her team have set up. Alexis remains eternally grateful that her family and Twyla couldn’t make it; she needs all her focus on the project. Twyla is too pregnant to fly, and despite her insistence that her family is known for giving birth in weird places, Brandin has talked her into staying home. David cannot afford to shut down the store and fly to Aspen. Alexis still can’t stop thinking about the text she received last night reading: **How could a mother anticipate such an act of sedition from one's own child as an omission of such magnitude?**

Outside the warehouse, a variety of plants surround the door: philodendrons and flowers and wild grasses. Inside, ferns and ivies that will simulate the rolling hills of Endara’s work, are waiting to be planted on-site.

The Russian sage is feathery under Alexis’ hand, the leaves of the ivy stiff and sharp, their contrasting compositions adding texture and highlights. The work is currently a jigsaw puzzle, but Alexis can already get a sense of the end result. Alexis visualizes the elegant outfits against the stunning backdrop while Vanti inventories the natural materials with Lucìa, checking for what has been obtained from Ecuador and ensuring it’s all loaded up on the truck going to the venue for assembly.

Alexis feels a thrill rush through her as she climbs into the rented SUV with Vanti to head back to the hotel. They’re closing in on twenty-four hours to premiere, with so much still to prepare. 

Vanti opens their portfolio and begins reading down the to-do list.“Swag bags should already be assembled. They just need to be delivered to the correct rooms.”

“Color coded?” Alexis asks.

“Yes.”Alexis nods along as Vanti continues to run through the logistics. “We also need to check with the venue that they’re ready to receive all of our vendors and oversee that the installation is going smoothly. They okayed all the plants weeks ago, but you never know.”

Alexis blows out a breath, decided. “Alright, I’ll go check on the swag bags and you take care of the venue.”

“Are you sure?” 

Normally, Alexis oversees a lot of the venue handling, but Vanti is coming into their own as a member of the Alexis Rose Communications team. They have an artist’s eye like David and a low tolerance for bullshit. The venue is getting prepped and ready, and managing the finishing touches will give Vanti the necessary experience to do more in the future. “Yes. You’ll do great.”

When they enter the lobby, Alexis heads straight across towards the back room hospitality staff, ready to dole out her next set of instructions. She’s relieved to find all of the bags she requested. She rifles through a few to make sure they are complete, filled with gift certificates to the hotel spa, samplings of Ecuadorian coffee and chocolate, and a couple of souvenirs from the Charles Darwin Research Station’s gift shop. 

Satisfied with the contents of the swag bags, Alexis gathers the group of hotel employees awaiting her instruction. Alexis clutches her clipboard to her chest with one hand, while gesturing with the other. “Okay, we need to place the welcome gifts in the rooms. The blue bags go to the documentary subjects and filmmakers. The green bags are going to all of the Academy Members. The orange bags are for guests of documentary subjects and filmmakers. The room sheets are color coded to make the process easier, and the bags are already grouped by floor. Any questions?”

Alexis answers the variety of questions from the staff about where she wants them placed and at what angle. When there are no more questions, Alexis sends everyone off with a parting, “Thank you, so much. We appreciate it.”

Alexis’s heels make a rapid clicking across the floor as she heads out to the lobby to connect with Vanti. “Alright, what’s next?”

Vanti is wearing a pair of wide leg wool pants with a mustard blouse, the color beautifully contrasting with this month’s hair color—bright purple. They scroll through their tablet reviewing the list of items. “I have confirmed all the arrangements at the venue, everything is going smoothly. I will give you an update on the progress at the end of the day. I’ve also got the list of the media personnel that are covering the event. We have a couple of hold outs, but I’ve got that. Next on the list is to make sure all of our guests arrive and are checking in.”

Alexis nods. “You take care of the holdouts for the media. I’ll go check in with registration and on flights for our people.”

“You got it, Boss.”

Alexis strides out into the reception area and checks in with the concierge. So far, the filmmakers are here, as well as some of the members of the voting academy. The media is staying at another hotel; Alexis knows Vanti will check on them. The team from Puerto Ayora is landing a little after four p.m. All in all, about half of the guests have checked in so far. Alexis sends a message to the caterer confirming the menu is set for the post-premiere party.

“Wow! Look at this place.”

Alexis looks up to see Ted’s mother standing in the lobby. Her beige skin looks pale against her plum colored coat; Alexis really would change that fashion choice if she could. Beside her, her boyfriend, Bill, is looking particularly ruddy-faced in a wind suit that is probably not warm enough for the weather. Alexis smiles, walking over to them. “Oh my goodness, Mrs. Mullens! Welcome to Aspen!”

“You know I haven’t been Mrs. Mullens for quite awhile Alexis, and it’s Cheryl.” Ted’s mom wraps her in a tight embrace and, oh, it’s silly, but Alexis forgot how much she likes Cheryl. Cheryl pulls back and rubs her hands up and down Alexis’s arms. “It’s so lovely to see you. You remember Bill?”

“I do!” Alexis reaches out a hand to shake his; his large beige fingers envelope her slim pink ones. “I’m so glad you could both make it. Have you checked in?”

Cheryl nods excitedly before looking around the lobby. “We just did. Is Ted here? Do you know? I have some non-island clothes for him with me.”

“No, Ted is not. He and the rest of the research team should be landing at 4:15. Their flight from LA just took off ten minutes ago.” She’s only checked a handful of times. 

Cheryl frowns deeply. “He’s not been the best at communicating: WiFi and cellular signals and all that. All he told us was that he was arriving today.” 

Alexis nods, remembering the struggle of keeping up with Ted when he first left for the Galapagos. There were so many times she missed having him within reach for a phone call, a quickie, advice or a joke. For a woman who used to have lunch with her son just because, who could spend four hours on the phone with him laughing together, Ted being half a world away must have been exceptionally hard for Cheryl. Alexis wracks her brain for something to say, but thankfully Ted’s mom is there with words of her own. 

“I am so excited. My Ted, in a movie.”

Alexis beams, sharing her excitement. “It’s really, very good. I’ve seen rough edits. Ted is in it quite a bit.” She sees Bill stifle a yawn and adds, “You two should go up to your room. They’re quite lovely. And, there’s some little treats for the two of you.”

“Not too much food, I hope,” Bill says, patting his flat stomach. 

“No! No. Some discounts at the spa, some coffee and umm,” Alexis pauses and then steams ahead. She grips Ted’s mom’s hands and squeezes. “Cheryl, there’s a garment bag in your closet. Try on the dress, and, you know, let me know how you feel about it. You should look really nice on your son’s arm at the premiere.”

“I thought someone else might be on his arm,” Cheryl says, sharing a conspiratorial grin. 

As much as she’d love to be on Ted’s arm, Alexis has to work the event. But instead of saying no, she shakes her head, curls moving in tandem, and tells Cheryl, “You know how he is. You’re his best girl.”

“Mmmm. Is that so?” Cheryl raises an eyebrow, clearly suspicious.

“Yes. I think we definitely can say so.” Alexis gives Cheryl’s hands one last squeeze before slipping hers out of them. “I’m going to have to leave you both. We still have a lot to do.”

Cheryl pats her cheek, comfortingly. “Oh, oh. You have things to do, my dear, and you’re sitting here and talking with us to make us feel comfortable. Thank you, Alexis.”

“You’re welcome.” Alexis smiles and falters a minute, while her brain catches up. “Umm, there’s also an itinerary. We’re doing a welcome dinner tonight at 7.”

Alexis shoos Cheryl and Bill off to their room to rest. She watches them go for a moment before getting back to work. Her to-do list is still long. Alexis makes sure the dinner menus are set for the members of the cast and the crew, while Vanti checks that the table decorations are all in place. Alexis schedules a massage for herself on Saturday morning before she’ll have to wrangle people during the press junket.

She’s stationed herself in the lobby when the call comes in that the Galapagos team has cleared customs and is nearing the hotel. Right on schedule, they traipse into the lobby, huddling together as they acclimate to the cold. She’s so glad to see them. Naomi’s locks are braided into a halo around her head, and she has her parka zipped up tight. Paolo is shivering. Even Ted lets go of the handle of his bag to blow on his hands.

Alexis grins and clutches her itinerary clipboard closer. “Welcome to Aspen! It’s so good to have you here.”

“It’s freezing,” Ted says, walking over toward the fireplace with his bags. Everyone else follows, congregating in a circle like penguins do for warmth. 

“You’ve been on the equator for too long,” Alexis shoots back. “You’ve forgotten about winter.”

Vanti steps up, their tablet still in hand. “Like Alexis said, welcome. We’ve expedited check in for all of you. We know it’s been a lot of travel for you today. We have a welcome dinner scheduled for 7 PM tonight for the crew and subjects to get together again, get us prepared for tomorrow. The morning tomorrow is yours, but we suggest not taking to the ski slopes if you want to be ready for the premiere. You’ll find a full schedule of activities in the gift bags in your room.”

“Swag bags?” Naomi asks, “Like at an Oscars party?”

“Yes,” Alexis chirps. “Hopefully, we’ll get to the Oscars soon. Now, check in, nap, unpack, explore, or whatever, and we’ll see you for dinner down at the hotel lounge at 7.”

Everyone disperses, heading for the check-in counter. Alexis forces herself up to her room to go over everything one more time. After a quick power nap, she dons a sparkly cocktail dress for dinner. Even though it’s fancier, the dinner has the same feel of their collective meals in the island lodge. Jokes are exchanged, wine is poured, food is consumed, and Alexis only steals a few looks at Ted, who is catching up with his mom and Bill. They look happy.

Alexis keeps busy, moving from table to table, checking in with everyone until Vanti forces her to sit and eat. Alexis takes mechanical bites, but it all tastes like sand. There’s too much and not enough happening in her brain, and in the space in front of her. Benjamin Bratt is busy entertaining the masses, as the most recognizable person in the room. It was his smooth voice that had finally been chosen to provide the narration for the film. Louie Psihoyos is also getting quite a bit of attention from reporters and up and coming filmmakers. 

She tries to focus on her work, making sure that Ben and Mr. Psihoyos are not being constantly bothered but that reporters are getting enough information for copy. Her mind keeps worrying over the contract that Ted may or may not have signed to continue his work in the Galapagos, poking at it like a sore tooth. Not that it matters. Ted is a home and business owner in Schitt’s Creek, Ontario, and Alexis lives in New York City. 

By the time she checks on the dinner breakdown and makes sure everything is stored in its proper place, she’s exhausted. It’s only ten in Aspen, but it’s midnight at home. Alexis heads up to her room, kicks off her heels and barely gets undressed before she falls into bed.

— 

The next morning starts too early, with a wake-up phone call from Vanti at 8 a.m. It’s not her normal call time, but there’s too much to get done before her hair and make-up appointments. And she doesn’t want to be rushed getting into her red carpet dress. Alexis showers and dresses in a smart, structured dress with thick cable knit tights. Their winning artist, Lucía, is already at the venue, transforming the space, when she arrives. 

The wall panels containing the plants are up, rocks and branches form the houses, feathers create the delightfully colorful horses. Plants seem to cover every available space. Vines of ivy spill over onto a knife-edge reflecting pool with little rock formations that mimic the ocean and the Galapagos islands. Alexis doesn’t bother Lucía or her crew. She waves and quickly makes sure photographers will be set up in front of both the artwork and the NatureFest backdrop for pictures. She moves through the space, ensuring markers have been placed on the carpet for the reporters. Everything's coming together.

Upon her return to the hotel, she checks on their meal for the evening and then throws herself at the mercy of her scheduled hair and make-up artist. The nap she takes in the chair while her stylist takes care of her soft waves, pulling them back carefully into a clip, is entirely necessary. She feels refreshed by the time she’s seated in the makeup chair.

She slips into her Dior Couture dress, a layer of chiffon embroidered with peacock feathers, that falls delicately over the powdery pink sheath underneath. Alexis is zipped up and the rope belt sits at her natural waist. She clasps a series of her favorite gold necklaces around her neck, and checks herself one last time in the mirror before grabbing her clutch and zipping out the door. The lobby awaits, as does Vanti when Alexis gets off the elevator. They look stunning in a Christian Siriano pants suit in sea foam green with pink beads that resemble bubbles on the thick shoulders. Vanti has styled it with a white button down underneath.

“The vans are here,” Vanti says as Alexis clicks her way across the floor.

Alexis sighs, trying to get the jangling of her nerves under control. “Perfect, do you have the van assignments set up?”

“Right here,” Vanti says, passing over a copy to Alexis. “Everyone did really well on the interview prep we did today.”

Alexis is glad and grateful that Vanti handled the interview prep. Alexis cannot bring herself to be in close quarters with Ted right now. She just has to get through this weekend. Alexis nods, glancing over the list Vanti passes her. “Awesome. We should remind everyone when to be downstairs. I’ll just make sure the concierge calls all of our rooms for a ten minute warning.” 

When Alexis returns, Ted is exiting the elevator. He's dressed very smartly. He looks just as she thought he would in Tom Ford, dashing and dapper with just the right amount of unpolished edges. Despite doing her best to avoid him since his arrival, Alexis’s words slip out unbidden, “Look at you. Very handsome.”

Ted strolls over, very nice Italian leather dress shoes on his feet. She stole them from David’s secret closet when she and Ted were dating the last time. They were a great Christmas gift, mostly because David never wore them and still has no idea they are missing (at least as far as she’s aware). She likes seeing these shoes on Ted’s feet. Her mind travels, and she wonders if the wallet in his pocket is the one she gifted him. 

Ted is smiling, and Alexis hopes he’s not furious with her for how she left. Slipping out in the middle of the night is definitely the coward’s way out. It’s not Alexis’s usual trick, unless she’s been imprisoned in a palace—in which case, it’s definitely her usual way out. Ted doesn’t seem mad though.

Ted glances down at his outfit before looking back at her. “Yeah, about this. Why do I have a custom Tom Ford suit? Alexis, I googled what they cost.”

Alexis smooths down Ted’s lapels and dusts off lint that isn’t there. She does her best not to let her hands linger on his very nicely formed pectoral muscles and just focus on straightening his suit. “Oh, Tom still owed me a favor from the terrible date he took David on.”

“If he was so bad to David, why does he owe you a favor?” Ted asks, doing his confused head tilt that remains endearing.

Alexis pokes at his shoulder. “I know this may be hard to believe, because Patrick is the dearest little button, but David used to have really terrible taste in human beings. Like, really, really awful.”

Ted’s head tilts further. “And these awful people owe you favors because…”

“I threaten to expose David’s dates as the truly horrible people they are, in exchange for favors,” Alexis says, sliding her hand under her chin and out to the side before flipping it through her hair. 

Ted’s head falls to the other side, still considering. “You blackmailed Tom Ford into making me a suit?”

“David wouldn’t step foot in there, anyway. I mean, he’s not much of a Tom Ford guy but _especially_ not after Tom broke up with him while they were vacationing in Prague. They were supposed to go to the Náplavka Farmers Market, and never made it. David never forgave him. It all worked out though, because you look very handsome.” Alexis refuses to give in to the urge to boop him on the nose. It will give Ted the wrong ideas. Instead, she flicks her hair back, “Not to worry, I got your mom a great dress too.”

Ted’s eyebrows pull in and down as the corners of his lips dip. “You didn’t have to do all that.”

Alexis sighs, “I did. I really did."

He certainly does not need to know that she sent Tom Ted’s measurements, a picture, and a very informed list of things she wanted. Alexis doesn’t tell him all the reasons she needed this. Instead she tells him, “You’re in Van 4. I’ll see you at the premiere.” 

Before Ted can say anything, Alexis takes her list and scurries off to begin herding others into their vans to ensure they stick to her schedule. Alexis catches her pace, takes a deep breath in and out and forces herself to be the calm and controlled founder and CEO of ARC. 

— 

[ ](https://postimg.cc/TpZPksFh)

As far as premieres go, everything is amazing, or at least that’s how Alexis remembers it later. The art is stunning and impressive, providing just the right brand of the _immersive_ experience she wanted; everything looks and sounds beautiful. It’s almost like she’s back in the Galapagos herself. Interviews go well—soundbites are taken and no one says anything embarrassing. Vanti holds down one end of the carpet, and Alexis takes the other. 

When _Going Wild in the Galapagos_ plays, people laugh along with the antics of the penguins, and delight at the marine iguanas spitting salt out of their noses. The attendees _awww_ and _oooh_ as Maria lays her eggs and again later when her little turtle babies hatch. 

The Galapagos crew is just as personable on screen as they are in person. Naomi explains the dangers that invasive plants pose and how returning to indigenous farming methods is helping to promote the original ecosystem. Paolo describes the many avian (or bird) species on the island and how conservation efforts are going. Ted recounts in detail the different jobs he’s performed and how important the Research Center is. 

Alexis cries a little toward the end. As the credits start to roll, the audience breaks into thunderous applause, and Alexis feels her heart swell with pride. She’s going to commission the hell out of For Your Consideration ads for the Oscars for this. 

A mix of journalists, photographers, filmmakers, crew, cast and guests attend the post-premiere dinner. It’s not as relaxed as the night before, but it’s still cheerful. Art and flowers from the Galapagos decorate the ballroom; attendees make speeches. This is perhaps the biggest thing Alexis has ever done in her life, and she couldn’t be more proud.

“Hey, I thought I was never going to get you alone,” Ted says, popping up as Alexis crosses the room.

She shrugs, smiles. “Well, caught me.”

“Do you have a few minutes?” Ted asks, his face serious, eyebrows quirked.

“Umm, yes. **Yes,** ” she says more confidently, “I _can_ give you a few minutes, but not, like, _too_ many because I still have things to do.”

His lips lift slightly into an echo of a smile. “Okay, Alexis.”

Ted leads her to a quiet alcove. As much as she longs to be next to Ted, Alexis feels the impulse to flee. She keeps her back turned halfway towards the room, maintaining a path for escape in the event she needs it. 

Instead of running, well, walking, backwards slowly, Alexis fills the space with chatter. “So, are you enjoying yourself? The premiere went really well, don’t you think? The full cut of the documentary was perfect. The Charles Darwin Research Center is so lucky to have you for the length of your next contract—”

“You left the Galapagos without saying good-bye.”

Alexis sniffs at Ted’s abrupt change of subject, her hands moving as fast as her heart fluttering in her chest. “It wasn’t a _good-bye,_ it was a _see you later._ I left a note.”

Ted inclines his head slightly, looking at her like he can see through all of her carefully built walls. “You know what I mean.”

Alexis nods quickly. “I thought it might be easier for both of us if we didn’t have to say anything that morning.”

Ted takes her hands in his. They’re warm and calloused, and Alexis feels a tug inside her chest. “Maybe I wanted to go with you to the airport. Maybe I had things I needed to tell you.”

Alexis looks down at their hands, unable to look into his steely blue eyes another moment. She still likes the way her hands fit into his capable ones. But, his eyes are too loud, the emotion in them too deep; the tugging inside grows stronger until it has left behind a gaping hole in the middle of her chest.

Alexis shakes that thought away and tries to keep her voice light as she says, “About you taking on another few years in the Galapagos and how much you’re going to miss me?”

“I didn’t sign the contract.”

“Oh,” Alexis says, her heart wrenching a little more. She inventories the scars on the back of his hands, noting the familiar ones from Mrs. Lavoie’s beloved Yorkshire Terrier and Mr. Rawlins Maine Coon cats. There are other ones she doesn’t know, that Alexis didn’t ask for details of while they enjoyed each other’s company in the Galapagos. “So, you’re going back to Schitt’s Creek.”

Ted chuckles and Alexis doesn’t know how he has it in him to laugh at a time like this. It’s not even a sad laugh. “No. I sold the practice to Shannon last year. That’s why she sent so many things with you.”

“Ahhh,” Alexis stalls, dragging the exclamation out into an additional syllable. “So where _are_ you going?”

Ted sucks in a breath through his teeth before saying, “To New York City, if you’ll have me.”

Alexis’s gaze jerks up in shock. Ted’s looking at her with tears shimmering in the bottom of his eyes. “What?”

Ted’s hands squeeze hers, warm, and grounding. They’re the only thing keeping her from floating away like a balloon. Her eyes drink in his, unable to look away. “Alexis, I love you. I’ve gotten to have experiences that I might never have had if not for you, gotten to accomplish some of my old dreams, but being with you is the dream, now. I’m not afraid to try new things and see new places, and this is just another new adventure. I’ll be closer to my mom. I’ll find actual butter tarts again. And there’s a need for vets everywhere.”

Hope blooms in the empty space in her chest, but Alexis is terrified to hold on to it. “Oh, Ted, what if you hate it?”

His smile widens to reveal his stupid, perfect teeth. “There are domestic, farm, and exotic animals in New York City. I don’t think I’ll be bored. I’ve put in applications for a few different jobs, but I don’t have to take any of them if you don’t want me there.”

More than anything, Alexis wants to accept this gift that Ted is offering, but the worries keep coming, bubbling up and right out of her mouth. “But what about nature and stars and—”

“I know _someone_ who has a job that requires travel, and there are things called vacations, and parks and hikes, and day trips, and—”

Her thoughts are whirling along with Ted’s words. To quiet them both, Alexis presses her lips to Ted’s; her arms wrap around his neck. He circles her waist with his arms and pulls her in tight. Alexis feels light and feels the world around her spin, though she knows they’re not actually moving. It’s simply Ted, and the way he makes her feel like everything is possible. 

When he pulls back, she holds his neck tighter, not wanting to let go. Alexis dives in for another kiss, but Ted’s head is bowed and a hand slips up from her waist.

Alexis follows his gaze and finds that Ted has the heart locket she’s wearing pinched between his fingers, lifting it from between the A necklace in the hollow of her throat and the golden tassel hovering just above her cleavage. Ted clears his throat, but his voice is still shaky when he says, “I was surprised to see this among your jewelry for tonight.”

Alexis shrugs, a move far more casual than the feelings swirling inside her. “Well, there’s just—some things you keep.”

“Twyla and her mom still inside?” Ted teases, but his smile has blown wide open. 

Shimmying in place, more of a shiver, Alexis smiles softly, “See for yourself.”

Alexis knows what Ted’s about to find. Alexis had them printed and trimmed carefully to fit. On one side of the locket, Alexis has her head on Ted’s shoulder, his mouth pressing a kiss into the top of her head, a picture that Twyla managed to snap of them sprawled in the booth on the night they broke up. The other side holds a picture of Ted—one of her favorites from her phone—giving her that ridiculous grin. 

When Ted looks up from the pictures, his eyes are wet again. His voice is like sandpaper when he rasps, “Alexis.”

Her own eyes feel wet and Alexis forces herself to blink back the tears. Her voice is scratchy as she says, “I sent my heart away with you when you left, so I figured I should keep this one.”

“I really never met anyone else quite like you, you know,” Ted admits, closing the locket and letting it fall again. 

“Sorry,” Alexis says, guilt welling up for all the heartache that could have been avoided, “for leaving without saying anything. I wasn’t sure I could actually get on the plane if you were there. So I ran.”

Ted cups her face and his smile is rueful. “Well, I would have been tempted to get on the plane with you.”

Rising on her toes, Alexis lifts up and kisses Ted. This kiss is soft, slow and interwoven with the knowledge that Alexis will soon be able to do this whenever she wants. There is no need to rush or be greedy. 

When she breaks away, Alexis can hear Louie Psihoyos talking. If they’re at his speech, she and Ted have been MIA for awhile. “We should go back. People are probably wondering what happened to us.”

Ted’s thumb strokes her cheek, and Alexis curls into it like a cat. Her eyes close as she revels in the sensation, and Ted’s voice is warm and round. “Oh, I think it’s fine Alexis. I’m pretty sure they all know what happened to us, and Vanti and the rest of the team have it under control.”

Alexis’s eyes open and she taps Ted’s shoulder with the back of her hand. “How do they know?” He chuckles and her voice raises an octave as she says. “Ted?!”

“Oh, my heartbreak was evident to the team the moment you left. The lack of puns tipped everyone off.” Ted says, his smile sheepish. “Vanti asked me what my intentions were during interview practice today. I told them I intended to make you happy, if you’d be okay with that.”

Alexis does a joyful shimmy, and leans in closer. Her hands dance down the sides of Ted’s beautiful suit, and travel under the jacket to play with the waistband of his pants. Her eyes drop with heavy lids. “You know, we both have hotel rooms upstairs. If you really think we won’t be missed...”

Ted kisses her, quick and sweet. His eyes twinkle down at her. “We better **Galapa** -go then.”

Alexis’s giggle is genuine, and she allows Ted to take her hand in his and drag her to the bank of elevators. There’s a security in knowing wherever they go from here, they will be going together. 

—

Alexis scrubs at her eyes with the sleeve of Ted’s sweatshirt that she’s commandeered. The comforter around her shoulder slips and she catches it, pulling it tighter as she steps into the kitchen/living/dining room space in the fourth floor walk-up she shares with Ted. 

“Morning!” Ted greets, a smile blooming across his face. His apron proudly states ‘Someone **Kneads** a Hug,’ with a loaf of bread and a dinner roll smiling on it. Everyone is far too cheerful this morning. 

Alexis groans a greeting and flops a sweatshirt sleeve in his direction as she shuffles toward the high top table that sits against the wall. She clambers onto the chair, comforter and all. The early morning light filters in, a butter yellow through the window. 

“Alright, we’ve got some **turtle** -y delicious pancakes, some bacon and fruit salad.”

Pulling the comforter over her head, Alexis puts her head down on the table. “It’s too early to eat.”

“Uhh, you’ll be hungry when the nominations start coming out.”

“Why does it have to be so early?” Alexis groans, but Ted sets down a mug of coffee in front of her that proclaims _That’s **Mug** -nificent._

“Alexis, it’s 8:15.”

Alexis pouts, her hands flopping loosely at the wrists as she complains. “I know, but if it goes well I’ll have to do _work_ , and if it’s bad I got up for _nothing.”_

“Hey, you got up and got to see _me_ before I leave for work and get to eat a warm and healthy breakfast with me, so I would say you are doing **egg** -cellent, today.” He presses a kiss to the crown of her head as he drops off her chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. 

“Ted.” Alexis aims for a groan, but it comes out a giggle. 

“Speaking of, do you want eggs?”

“No,” Alexis answers decisively, picking up a slice of bacon and biting into it. “Eggs are for non-pancake breakfasts.”

“Some people like eggs with pancakes. They break the yolk right—”

Alexis is horrified by the idea of sticky yolk on her delicious chocolate chip pancakes. “Eww! Ted! No.”

They eat in mostly companionable silence while the music for the Oscar Nomination reveals plays in the background. Ted plays footsie with her occasionally, nudging her with his sock feet under the table. The words _Best Documentary Feature_ snap Alexis to attention and she nearly chokes on her bacon. 

She puts the delicious bacon down and turns to face the television screen. Ted’s hand reaches out and wraps around hers. He squeezes, and she glances over her shoulder. He’s beaming at her like she hung the moon. 

The past few months have been non-stop, pushing an InterFlix film for Oscar contention. Even if _Going Wild in the Galapagos_ doesn’t get the nom, getting on the ballot was huge. This was the biggest opportunity she’s ever had and it’s gotten her a raise with InterFlix, a new apartment, and Ted back in her life. Anything else is just a bonus.

* * *

**Galapagoofs: A Collection of Blue-footed Boo-boobies**

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I cannot begin to give out enough thanks for this Pod_Together team. While the intitial idea may have been mine for this story, this team ran with it! There was full collaborative effort on this story. Everyone should have five betas for one project! Many thanks to RhetoricalQuestions, SunlightSymphony, Elswhere Fumbling, Amantia_Fierce and Ships_to_Sail for pouring over this story with me, correcting my mistakes and polishing this into a full novela on top of doing the voice acting, artwork and sound editing that you did. I am honored and floored by your amazing work.
> 
> A huge thank you to the supporting voice actors who stepped up to bring this multi-voice podfic together: olive2pod, sophinisbia, GoLBPodfics, eafay70, mahons_ondine.
> 
> Thank you to the readers and listeners who enjoyed this story! We appreciate all comments and kudos! Thank you to the Pod_Together mods who did such a wonderful job organizing this wonderful collaborative event.


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